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The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz Written by Dan Vebber
Directed by James Purdum
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Production code: 3ACV05 Original Airdate: 4-Mar-2001
TV Guide synopsis:
Leela joins those protesting an oil supertanker being towed
to a refinery by the Planet Express ship, now captained --
poorly -- by Bender.
Opening theme promotion: Now with Chucklelin Opening theme cartoon: Max Fleischer studio, a KoKo the Clown cartoon, probably from the 1920's
... Bender's shiny metal ass finally got bitten (actually
pecked)?
Jym Dyer:
... one of the cackling-with-glee penguin hunters is Scruffy
the janitor?
- Starring - Billy West (Fry, Dr. Zoidberg, Prof. Farnsworth, Smitty) - Katey Sagal (Leela) - John DiMaggio (Bender) - Tress MacNeille (Linda) - Also Starring - Maurice LaMarche (Morbo, Chicken Lawyer) - Guest Starring - David Herman - Phil Lamarr (Hermes) - Phil Hendrie (Free Waterfall Sr.) - Frank Welker (Penguins)
+ Birdman of Alcatraz (Movie)
- Episode Title
+ Ducks Unlimited (Non-Profit Organization) {jd}
- This organization promotes both conservation and duck
hunting.
+ Free Willy (Movie) and Chilly Willy (TV Series) {jd}
- Free Willy is an environmentally-themed movie, and Chilly
Willy is a cartoon penguin. The two are combined into a
"Free Chilly Willy" protest sign.
+ Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (Movie)
- Bender getting mangled by a killer whale and ejected on
the shore is a takeoff of the similar scene involving R2D2.
Bender even makes an R2D2 sound during it.
- Leela worrying that Bender has not come back at sunset is
also reminiscent of the similar situation with Han and Luke.
+ Juan Valdez {mz}
- The Juan Valdez tanker, filled with "rich Columbian dark
matter" oil, is named after a fictional character used to
promote Columbian coffee.
+ Exxon Valdez spill {jk}
- Juan Valdez spilling dark matter.
- Bender being sober during the spill (the captain of the
Valdez was drunk at the time).
+ Orca: The Killer Whale {i}
- The whale opens its mouth and all the penguins slide
into it.
+ Roadkill Bill (Comic Strip) {jd}
- Right before this episode first aired, this comic strip
featured two months of "Pissed-Off Penguins," a flock
that's armed and angry over environmental issues.
- [1ACV03], [2ACV18] Bender gets disoriented and rusted around
the mouth when he's not drinking.
- [1ACV04] Leela's love for animals.
- [2ACV03] Green Party (with green aliens).
- [2ACV15] Free Waterfall Jr. appears.
- [2ACV16] The fing-longer is used.
- The environmentalist fleet banners:
- SAVE THE CRESTED SPINEPECKER
- THINK INTERGALACTICALLY / ACT INTERPLANETARY
- PENGUIN UNLIMITED
Also, "GREEN PARTY" marked on the side of the flying saucer
with a bunch of green, Kif-like aliens.
- Captain's Handbook
Now With Pop-Up Sextant
- Sign near Pluto:
PLUTO
LAST RESTROOM BEFORE
PROXIMA CENTAURI
- Posters environmentalists hold on Pluto:
- GIVE A HOOTO / DON'T POLLUTE PLUTO
- PRESERVE OUR USELESS WASTELAND
- FREE CHILLY WILLY [Picture of Chilly Willy Behind Bars]
- GO AWAY TANKER!
- Logo for news coverage of dark matter oil spill:
TANKED!
- Bender's reboot sequence:
- REBOOTING
- SCANNING LOCAL LIFEFORMS
- RESET MODE: PENGUIN
- LOADING PENGUIN LANGUAGE
- TASKS:
1) ACQUIRE FOOD
2) FROLIC
- Bender's reboot sequence again (already in progress):
- RESET MODE: HUMAN
- LOADING HUMAN LANGUAGE
- TASKS:
1) BEND
2) CHEESE IT!
Jym Dyer: While driving under the influence of no alcohol,
Bender swerves past a purple planet without rings, then two
bluish planets. Presumably the last two are Urectum and
Neptune, but shouldn't a yellow, ringed planet named Saturn
come before them instead of a purple ringless one?
Zikron the Insistent: A major physics goof is the windchill
factor being 20 degress below ablsoute zero.
Mike Reed: Proves again that Futurama is the most bizarre show
on television. Where else could you see a drunken robot mimic
a penguin, or a spaceship caught in the tentacles of a space
squid? Loved it! (A)
Eric Sansoni: Tonight's episode definitely put the series back on
track after that shaky one last week. This winter theme was very
fitting as we out east are locked up snug in our houses while the
newest blizzard rages outside. If this episode doesn't convince
any doubters that this is the most entertaining show on television
today, you better check their brains for frostbite.
The show was in peak form with a combination of earthly satire,
sci-fi concepts, tons of action and adventure, just enough but not
too much plot with perfectly measured twists and turns, and some
of the most energized and playful uses of the animated form the
show has ever achieved. We even got a terrific series fan in-joke
with the appearance of Free Waterfall Sr. Sr.
All of this came at a rapid fire pace, and really they've never
paced an episode so fast and so perfectly at the same time. They
realized there is just so much plot-heavy information you can
process at that pace and didn't give us more than we could handle.
The way the animation turned the penguins into characters was
incredibly well thought-out. There have been so many appearances
of animals on The Simpsons where they completely ruin their
credibility by making them act in a cartoonish, often too-human
way. Here, the show characterized them beautifully by respecting
the animal limitations of their intellect and basing the jokes
and plot on that.
Then add the characterization on top of that. Leela was the great
feminine center to the show, while not losing sight of her "let's
kick ass" attitude. And if any one was the star, it would be
Bender, and boy was he great in this. His scheming, plotting,
his gadgets, his special robot abilities, his self-centeredness.
They even clarified the point of how he really needs alcohol to
stay sober. Fry wasn't in this one as much, but he was the source
of lots of that great twisted comic dialogue the show has sort of
pioneered, even if he didn't play a role in the episode, like "If
I were captain, I wouldn't treat you like this!"
At any rate, all the magic of Futurama was in this episode, and
I'd say it's a great one to show people to get them more interested
in the series.
Jym Dyer: Free Waterfall Jr. was an unrealistic type of activist,
as seen in [2ACV15], feeding tofu to a lion; whereas his deep
ecologist father is perhaps a bit too realistic, e.g. insisting
that the penguins not waste a single part of his body. As a
vegetarian eco-activist myself, I like the fact that the show
can poke good fun at us and still flesh out some very different
types of caricatures. I can't wait to see how Free Waterfall
Sr. Sr. avenges his son, though if "nature's pocket" plays into
it, I don't wanna know about it.
Larry F: When the protesters made the ring around the
tanker and it just went up around them was right out of
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. When both ships were
in the nebula, Kirk noticed that Khan was working in two
dimensions and orders the Enterprise to move "Z minus 10000
meters". The Z axis is up / down from the X-Y plane.
At the Planet Express HQ. Fry opens a box of STYRO-PAK COOKIES.
Leela: Fry, I know those cookies are fresh-o-licious but they
produce an awful lot of trash.
Fry takes out a bag marked "TOP" out of the box, takes a brown
disk out of it and puts it in a press. Then adds another brown
and a white disk there. He presses them together and takes out a
complete Oreo. Then he takes it apart, licks away the middle and
throws the rest away in a big pile of others.
Bender meanwhile uses aerosol on his antenna and bends it
backwards.
Bender: Ahh.
Leela: And Bender... that aerosol head spray makes your
antenna smell nice ...
Bender: Thank you.
Leela: ... but it's doing long-term damage to the planet.
Bender: So? It's not like it's the only one we've got.
Door opens, the professor comes in.
Prof.: Good news, everyone. I'm sending you on an extremely
controversial mission.
Fry: Controversial?
Prof.: Oh, my, no!
In the meeting room.
Prof.: For this highly controversial mission you will be towing
the Juan Valdez, an orbiting supertanker full of rich
Colombian dark matter.
Leela: Dark matter oil? What if we hit something? The tanker
could leak.
Prof.: Impossible. [Brings on a cut view of the tanker]
The tanker has 6,000 hulls. So, unlike me, it's
entirely leak-proof.
[Uses the fing-longer to point it out in the hologram]
Now, once you've hauled the tanker past the protesters...
Leela: Protesters?
Prof.: Correct; 6,000 hulls.
Leela: Why do we have to fly within three feet of this penguin
preserve on Pluto?
Prof.: [In low voice] To avoid the toll booth.
Outside the ship.
Fry: Okay, she's already stocked with emergency jam. Let's
get going.
Leela: At the risk of sounding negative, no. Look, Professor,
I can't participate in this mission.
Prof.: What are you yapping about?
Leela: This time it's your reckless disregard for the
environment. In fact, I'm going to go join those
protesters.
Prof.: This is an outrage! I demand you hand over your
captain's jacket.
Leela: This is my normal jacket. I've had it for ten years.
Prof.: I said hand it over.
Leela takes off the jacket and tosses it to the professor.
Prof.: Well, Fry, ... or should I say ... "Captain Fry?"
[Fry reaches for the jacket] No, I shouldn't, because
Bender is the new captain.
Fry: Bender?
Prof.: That's right. Being captain is about intuition and
heart. A good captain can't have either one. That's
why cold, logical Bender is perfect for the job.
Bender: Well, I do think of human life as expendable.
Later, inside the ship.
Fry: No fair. Leela was training me to be captain. She
even let me sit in her lap and steer ... in this
comic I drew.
Zoidberg: Ooh, the new one's out.
Bender: Fry, the title of Captain may inflate the human ego
but it's beneath the notice of my mighty robo-logic.
Now, look spry, men! We launch at six bells.
[Takes out a bell and rings it six times]
In space. A fleet of ships of PENGUIN UNLIMITED flies by.
On board of the main ship, a meeting is in progress.
Waterfall: Greetings, Eco-nauts. I'm Free Waterfall Sr.,
founder of Penguins Unlimited. [Everyone applauds]
Oh, no, no, no applause. Every time you clap your
hands you kill thousands of spores that'll someday
form a nutritious fungus. Just show your approval
with a mold-friendly thumbs up. [Everyone raises
their thumbs] Please hold your thumbs until the end.
Waterfall: Now, folks, it's time to stop that tanker with a
nonviolent human circle.
Leela: Why do we have to resort to nonviolence? Can't we
just kick their asses?
Waterfall: Now, little lady those people's asses are living
things, too.
Planet Express ship is backing up to hitch to the tanker.
Bender: Arrr! We're hitched up tighter than Davey Jones's U-Haul.
At ease, men.
Fry: [Sitting relaxed in his chair] I am at ease.
Bender: Mr. Fry, I like to give my first mate an informal nickname.
From now on, you will be known as "Wiggles."
Fry: The hell I will. Have you even read the Captain's Handbook?
Bender takes the book and leafs through it in a couple of seconds.
Bender: I have now. And what's Peter Parrot's first rule of
captaining?
Fry: [Glumly] "Always respect the chain o' command" ...
Captain.
Bender: Correct, Wiggles. You've just earned an invitation to
the captain's table. [Walks away]
Zoidberg: The captain's table. What an honor!
The tanker is surrounded by environmentalists, who are holding
hands, creating a human circle around it.
Waterfall: Our peace ring has them trapped like a tiger in a
washing machine.
Planet Express ship's engine revvs up.
Leela: Get ready!
Others: Watch yourself, here they come!
The tanker goes up a bit and then flies off forward.
Leela: When you were planning this peace ring didn't you
realize spaceships can move in three dimensions?
Waterfall: No, I did not.
On Pluto.
Waterfall: Folks, that tanker gave us the slip. But we'll stop
them here on Pluto. If you're cold, rub your bodies
with permafrost. It's nature's long johns.
[Picks up some snow and rubs it in his crotch]
If rubbing frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey,
I don't want to be right.
Inside the penguin preserve.
Waterfall: This here is our penguin preserve.
Leela: Aw, they're so cute. They're like if puppies and kittens
could have babies.
Waterfall: We use hand puppets around the young'uns to simulate a
natural environment.
A hand puppet of a penguin appears, and a hand pops out, wearing
a visible wristwatch, to hand the baby penguins some fish. They
get the fish and they peck on the hand.
Man: Ow! My hand! Oh, my God!
Leela: That's adorable.
Man: Ow! Oh! Oh!
Planet Express ship flies past Saturn. Inside, Bender, Fry and
Zoidberg dine on a Ping-Pong table with a crudely made "CAPTAINS
TABLE" sign on it.
Bender: But I suppose it's this medal I'm most proud of, Wiggles.
I won it for saving the children of Earth from a giant
kangaroo. It was on the Australian news. You probably
didn't see it.
Zoidberg: Brilliant!
Fry: Would you cram a sock in it, Bender? Those aren't even
medals. They're bottle caps and pepperoni slices.
Bender rings the bell. Zoidberg refills his glass.
Bender: Thank you, steward. Wiggles, weren't you about to propose
a toast to your gallant captain?
Fry: Fine. I've got a toast. To Captain Bender, he's the best
... at being a big jerk who's stupid and his big ugly face
is as dumb as a butt.
Bender: Eh, I've heard better.
Fry: If I were in charge I wouldn't treat you like this. You're
nothing but a big blowhard.
[Slams the bell away]
Bender: Sir, you forget yourself. Shut up!
[Slams the plate, which hits the wall next to Zoidberg.
Zoidberg dives and starts chomping.]
Fry: Being captain is obviously more important to you than being
my friend. I'm going.
Bender: Going? But ... a captain can't drink without his first mate.
Fry leaves.
Zoidberg: [Emerges from below the table] You can drink with
me, maybe?
Bender: Nah, I don't feel like drinking.
Zoidberg: Then if you'll excuse me I see some ravioli that only
has two shoe prints on it.
[Bender walks past him, stepping on the ravioli]
Three.
[Dives and resumes chomping]
Planet Express ship flies past planets, making a lot of turns.
Bender: [Sings] Oh, Greenland is a barren land.
A land that bears no green
[he's at the helm, messed up]
Where there's ice and snow
And the whale fishes blow
And the ...
Zoidberg: Captain, please! Have some liquor. You robots need
alcohol to function.
Bender: Gah! I once knew a guy ... You look like him ... He
wasn't, either. [Grabs his head, groans] I'm a good
captain.
Zoidberg: Please, sir! I love you like a father!
Bender swirls the helm, the ship makes a sharp turn. Zoidberg
loses balance and is thrown into the corner.
On Pluto. The environmentalists are holding posters, waiting for
the ship. Leela is not holding anything, just stands with her
hands folded.
Man: Here they come. [Holds up a poster: "GO AWAY, TANKER"]
Oh, I hope they read my sign.
The tanker approaches flying unevenly.
Leela: Bender's flying too low! And he's upside down!
Man: He must be talking on his cell phone!
The tanker hits an iceberg. The iceberg cuts the hull all the way
across the side. The tanker starts leaking.
Inside the ship, "DANGER" warning comes on. Alarm blares. Bender
is asleep at the helm. Fry runs in.
Fry: What's happening?
Zoidberg: All 6,000 hulls have been breached.
Fry: Oh, the fools! If only they'd built it with 6,001 hulls!
When will they learn?
The tanker approaches the protesters. They scream. Leela sighs
and zips her coat all the way, leaving only the eye outside. The
dark matter descends on everything.
[End of Act One. Act Time: 8:18 Running Time: 8:18]
News report titled "TANKED!"
Linda: Continuing our coverage of a tragic [Cheerfully] but
far-away [Back to stock news reporter tone] story. The
crisis on Pluto worsens as dark matter spreads throughout
the penguin habitat. The images are truly horrific.
A shot of a penguin covered in dark matter, coughing. Several
penguins are slipping and falling, accompanied by funny sounds.
The subtitle says "SOUND EFFECTS ADDED TO LESSEN TRAGEDY".
Leela: I don't think any of us can understand how those poor,
oil-drenched penguins feel.
[Slips and falls, to same funny noises]
Morbo: [Laughs] Oily humanoid.
Linda: [Laughs]
Morbo: At the time of the crash the tanker captain had an alcohol
level of .08% -- well below the legal limit for robots.
To Bender who watches this news report behind bars.
Bender: Oh!
Chicken
Lawyer: Son, as your lawyer I declare y'all are in a 12-piece
bucket of trouble. But I done struck you a deal: five
hours of community service cleaning up that old mess
you caused.
Bender: Five hours? Oh, man. Couldn't you just have gotten
me the death penalty?
Chicken: I'd have done better but it's plumb hard pleading a
case while awaiting trial for that there "incompetence."
Camera moves away to show that it's actually the lawyer who is in
the cell, while Bender is outside.
Bender: Yeah, uh, good luck with that.
At the penguin preserve. Bender is cleaning penguins under
supervision of Smitty and Url (the cops). The environmentalists
are also cleaning penguins. Leela at the end of the line,
blow-drying and combing the penguins. She dries one penguin,
sets him down, cleaning up the last spot on his face.
Leela: Now, you stay away from those puffin twins. [Gently
nudges him in the back. The penguin walks off]
Waterfall: Good way to avoid frostbite, folks: Put your hands
between your buttocks. That's nature's pocket.
Leela: Uh ... I think I'll go check on Bender.
Waterfall: Watch that he doesn't pick your pocket.
Bender is squeezing oil out of a penguin, drinking it.
Bender: Ah! Can't beat fresh-squeezed.
Leela: Bender, can you at least pretend you're being punished?
[Checks the penguins Bender cleaned]
And clean the black parts, too.
Bender mocks her nagging.
Smitty: Are they black with white feathers or white with black
feathers?
Url: It don't matter, baby. They're all beautiful.
[They hug, sighing]
Bender: Yo, screws, more Tegrin over here? [Sees that they are
busy] Ooh, what's this?
Takes a tuxedo out of his compartment, puts it on, shortens his
legs and hides among the penguins, chuckling fiendishly.
The cops finally stop hugging and look around, puzzled.
Url: Aw, man, he got away.
Smitty: I guess this is why Chief says no hugging.
It's the sunset. The environmentalists are heading back.
Waterfall: Good work, everyone. I suggest you all go get some
sleep. Me? Well, I'm going to stay up all night,
singing songs about penguins in a fine, piercing tenor.
Leela: Has anyone seen Bender? Bender! Here, robot, robot,
robot!
Inside, Fry and Zoidberg play a video game. Leela comes in.
Leela: Hey, why weren't you Kong donkeys outside cleaning up?
Zoidberg: They sent us inside for doing an unsatisfactory job ...
[ashamed] and eating penguin eggs ...
[Turns, revealing egg yolk on the side of his mouth]
Fry: You ate most of them. So, where's "Captain" Bender?
Off catastrophizing some other planet? Huh? [Laughs]
Zoidberg: [Slaps him] Damn it, Fry! He may have done wrong but
he's still your captain.
Leela: I'm worried about him. He didn't come back with the
group.
Fry: He didn't?
Leela: No, and with wind chill it's 20 degrees below absolute
zero. I'd better go find him.
Fry: [Stops her] Wait, let me. Bender and I have our
disagreements, but we're still friends. And I'm going
to show him what that means. [Puts on the captain's
jacket] To the ship!
Leela: Why don't you just walk? He was only about 20 yards
from here.
Fry: Madam, I am in command now.
Zoidberg: Such a man! I'd follow him to Hell and back, I would.
The ship takes off and flies away ... backwards.
Bender is taking a nap among penguins. Penguins suddenly wake up
and start walking to water.
Bender: Argh! What the...?! [Falls in icy water] What's this
water made of, ice? Forget this! [Swims to shore]
A killer whale grabs him and takes him under, but eventually
spits him out on the shore. Bender lands on his head, babbling,
zapping and then shortly whistling like R2D2. Then he groans and
passes out. When he comes to he sees penguins. His computer says
"REBOOTING", "SCANNING LOCAL LIFEFORMS", "RESET MODE: PENGUIN",
"LOADING PENGUIN LANGUAGE".
TASKS:
1) ACQUIRE FOOD
2) FROLIC
He gets up.
Penguin: [Squawks] Full of fish?
Bender: [Squawks] Not entirely.
Penguin: [Squawks] Then let's fish.
They head to water.
To Fry and Zoidberg in the ship.
Zoidberg: Captain, I don't think we're on Pluto any longer. In
fact, we may have left space as we know it.
Fry: Then where are we? You said you knew how to navigate!
Zoidberg: Stop yelling at me! [Sobs]
Back to Bender among the penguins. Bender looks at penguin
children and squawks sadly. He then sees a female penguin.
Romantic harp music plays. He walks to her, but some other male
penguin squawks angrily at him. Bender steps back and squawks
sadly. But then he raises his eyes and sees another female
penguin. Romantic music plays again. They look at each other.
Bender walks to her and they rub their beaks. Then they both
head off somewhere.
Penguins slide down the slope and dive. When it's Bender's turn,
he slides, but gets his head stuck in snow halfway. Several
penguins bump into him. Then Bender tries to hatch eggs, but
onlycrushes them and squawks embarrassedly. Then, the penguins
are finishing. They grabs fish with their beaks. Bender strings
fish on his antenna.
Later, to feed the hatched penguins, and seeing that others
regurgitate to feed them, Bender throws several fish in his
mouth, purees them and does the same.
Finally, Bender, completely accepted as one of their own,
squawks happily among penguins, holding onto his lapel as if
at a fancy party.
At the Penguins Unmlimited meeting, ...
Waterfall: Folks, it's worse than we thought. It seems dark matter
is nature's sex drug. It's like a perverted trail mix of
penguin estrogen, penguin Viagra, and Spanish penguin fly.
Why, it's making them ultra-fertile.
Leela: How ultra?
Waterfall: Well, your garden-variety penguin lays one egg a year.
Since the spill our penguins have been laying six eggs
every 15 minutes. [Everyone gasps] Also, the eggs hatch
in only 12 hours. [Everyone gasps deeper] Also, the
males are laying eggs. [Everyone gasps yet deeper]
One man passes out. A doctor runs to him.
Doctor: This man is over-gasped!
They carry him away.
Waterfall: If the birds keep multiplying they'll soon be too many
to count. Before long, the penguins will exhaust their
food supply and starve to death.
Leela: Oh, if only we hadn't flown penguins to Pluto and dumped
oil on them this might never have happened. Can't we
stop them from multiplying?
Waterfall: Yes, I reckon it is our responsibility, and thankfully,
we have a plan.
Leela: What is it? We'll do anything.
Waterfall: Everyone grab your guns. I declare penguin hunting
season officially open!
He reloads his gun. Others do the same. Everyone but Leela has
a gun. Leela is shocked.
[End of Act Two. Act Time: 7:26 Running Time: 15:44]
Leela: We can't shoot penguins. Isn't there some way to keep
them from breeding?
Waterfall: Cold showers don't work on Antarctic creatures. Now,
surely you agree that a quick, semi-painless death is
a damn sight better than weeks of starvation.
Leela: Well ... I suppose, but ... I mean, I joined Penguins
Unlimited to love penguins, not to hunt them.
Waterfall: This time, the two are one and the same. Now, are you
with us or are you going to let innocent penguins suffer?
Opens the curtains revealing tightly packed mass of penguins outside.
Leela: Oh, God, it's inhuman! It's like Hong Kong. I'll do it!
Outside.
Waterfall: That's a good old-fashioned gun. Simple point-and-click
interface. Rifle check!
People: Oh-ho-ho, yeah. Ooh-wee, doggies! [Laugh]
Leela: Hey, you're enjoying this.
Waterfall: Look, nobody enjoys shooting penguins. But if you have
to shoot penguins, well, you might as well enjoy it.
Leela: I'm sorry but if it's fun in any way it's not
environmentalism.
Waterfall: Oh, really? How about blowing up dams?
Leela: Yeah ... that is fun.
Waterfall: [Reloads his rifle] Let's conservate.
To Planet Express ship. Fry and Zoidberg scream. The ship is
half-swallowed by some giant space squid.
Zoidberg: It's been an honor to serve under you, sir.
Back on Pluto. Leela looks for penguins. She find a big group.
Leela: All right, this is for their own good. Don't leave orphans;
got to kill entire families. [Looks at them though the
cross-hair] But they're so cute. No. You can do this.
It's just like murdering a little butler. I ... I can't
look.
Closes her eye, looks away. A tear rolls out of her eye, and her
hands shake, but she finally pulls the trigger. The rifle shoots,
the penguins scatter.
Leela: Oh, no! What have I done? [She runs to the shot
penguin] Oh-ho-ho, you poor little guy! I'm so
sorry, I ... Bender?
Bender sees Leela. His computer says: "RESET MODE: HUMAN",
"LOADING HUMAN LANGUAGE",
TASKS:
1) BEND
2) CHEESE IT!
Bender gets up.
Leela: What's going on? Were you hiding out with these little
guys?
Bender: Of course not! Filthy ice rats! Scat! Shoo! [Little
penguins crowd around him, squawking] Aw, what are you
doing? Get away.
Leela: Aw, they love you.
Bender: Well, I don't love them.
He looks at one penguin. Sighs adoringly and regurgitates some
food for it. Leela turns away, disgusted.
Bender: I don't know why, but when I look down at their little
faces it makes me want to puke. In a good way.
Other members of Penguin Unlimited show up, shooting randomly into
the penguins, cheering and shaking their rifles triumphantly.
Penguins: [Squawking] Stand still. It's our only hope.
Bender: [Squawking] That's puffin talk! Now, follow me.
Starts running away. They follow him.
Leela: Stop! Stop shooting! It's me, Leela.
Someone shoots some fur off her coat.
Man: Sorry.
Waterfall: Well, why aren't you firing randomly into those birds,
little lady? Don't you want to help them?
Leela: Not this way.
Waterfall: What? Why, you're not a tree-hugging kook at all.
Leela: Look, I don't know if shooting penguins will help the
environment or not. But I do know the decision shouldn't
be in the hands of people who just want to kill for fun.
Waterfall: Leela, you may just be farming some free-range truth
there. On the other hand we already made up 200 pounds
of batter for penguin tempura. Okay, boys, it's them
or us!
Leela: No!
There are no penguins around anymore.
Waterfall: Hey, where'd they --
Bender: [From the top of the hill] Attack!
The slide down the slope in attack formation, grabbing hunters,
bringing them down and pecking them.
Bender: [Squawking] We will fight them on the beaches!
We will fight them on the glaciers!
Penguins catch Waterfall, Sr. and bring him down.
Waterfall: Make sure they use every part of my body!
Old man: I'll avenge your death, son!
Leela: They used to be such peaceful birds. I suppose this
is your doing.
Bender: Yep. It's like I taught them: if it ain't black
and white, peck, scratch and bite. Now, to take off
my tuxedo.
He takes it off and puts it in his compartment. Penguins turn
on him.
Bender: Guys, it's me! Your lovable dictator! Uh-oh!
Leela and Bender start running way. Penguins follow. They get
to the top of the hill.
Leela: Oh, if only we had a toboggan. [Looks at Bender]
Seconds later, Bender is riding Leela as a toboggan.
Bender: Faster! Faster!
When the get all the way down, Bender chops off an ice-floe and
they sail off.
Bender and Leela: Phew!
Penguins dive into water and follow them.
Bender: Oh, right, they can swim. It's all coming back to me now.
Penguins get on their ice-floe and advance on them. Bender and
Leela back away till they reach the side of the ice-floe.
Suddenly, the Planet Express ship flies nearby.
Leela: It's Fry!
Bender: Wiggles?
The ship lands on the ice-floe. It tilts, and the penguins start
sliding. The killer whale gets out of the water to swallow the
sliding penguins.
Leela: Well, at least it'll help reduce their population.
Bender: Yeah ... life is hilariously cruel. [Laughs. He
slips and starts sliding] Aah!
The ship's cargo bay opens and Fry grabs Bender's hand.
Bender: Permission to come aboard, Wiggles?
Fry: Granted. We can't take off without our captain.
Leela: Ahem. [She's hanging off the side of the ice-floe]
Bender: Oh... and bring my toboggan.
The ship flies away from Pluto. Inside.
Fry: So, Leela, were you able to help the penguins?
Leela: Well, sure. I mean ... not really. I mean ... nature
will work itself out. It can't screw things up any worse
than we did trying to fix things, right?
Fry: [Mumbles] I dunno.
Bender: Aw, quit your worrying. Thanks to my shining influence
those stupid birds will do just fine.
On Pluto. Two rifles are lying on the ground. Shadows approach
them. It's two penguins. They look at each other, pick up the
rifles and reload them.
[End of Act Three. Act Time: 6:19 Running Time: 21:45]
Capsule authored by "Me."
{} "Me"
{jd} Jym Dyer
{lf} Larry F
{i} Ickyboy1
{jk} Joe Klemm
{mr} Mike Reed
{es} Eric Sansoni
{mz} Michael Zaite
{zti} Zikron the Insistent
TV Guide synopses by TV Guide
Opening Theme cartoon information from:
http://www.palmy.net.nz/futurama/opening/
The capsule has been compiled and the transcript written by Me whose name I prefer not to mention.
You can do whatever you want with this capsule, but be reasonable.