============================================================================
I Dated A Robot Written by Eric Kaplan
Directed by James Purdum
============================================================================
Production code: 3ACV15 Original Airdate on FOX: 13-May-2001
TV Guide synopsis:
In the season finale, Fry's friends try to break up his new
romance with a robot modeled after Lucy Liu (as herself), whose
image is being illegally copied onto blank robots.
==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
Opening theme promotion:
NO HUMANS WERE PROBED
IN THE MAKING OF THIS EPISODE
Opening theme cartoon:
Warner Brothers, "Censored", 1944.
This is a Private Snafu cartoon. Originally made for the US military and
not shown in theaters. {DD}
==============================================================================
> Did You Notice...
==============================================================================
... all robots have square pupils. For instance: compare the real Lucy Liu
head and Liubots.
Emetib67334
... the stuff in the Scary Door, the flaming Big mac, the soup that spells
watch out, the snowball with Groucho glasses?
... the Star Trek feud between Kirk and Parcad is still going on?
... Charlies Angels III was released in 2007?
... Fry's new hands are darker than his old ones?
... the Cryogenic freezing capsule on the magazine cover at the newsstand?
... The Hitler patch has no swastika?
Mike Zaite
... At the end Liubot said "Fry" in regular voice, not mechanical when
referring to him.
... the Professor's computer says AOL in FAL2 when they were going on the net
to find Nappster.
==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Billy West (Fry, Dr. Zoidberg, Prof. Farnsworth, Billy, Zapp)
- Katey Sagal (Leela)
- John DiMaggio (Bender, Nappster CEO)
- Tress MacNeille (Girl's mother at Jurrasic Kiddie park, Billy's mother,
Mavis, Madeleine Albright)
- Guest Starring
- David Herman
- Phil Lamarr (Hermes Conrad)
- Lauren Tom (Amy Wong)
- Frank Welker
- Special Appearance by
- Lucy Liu (Herself, Liubots)
- Also Starring
- Maurice LaMarche
==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
+ "Twilight Zone" (TV series)
- "The Scary Door" TV show is a spoof
- The show episode is a combination of several "Twilight Zone"
plots.
- The second actor in "The Scary Door" looks exactly like
Sebastian Cabot (Mr. French on 'Family Affair') who played
the criminal's "guardian angel" in the hell episode of
"The Twilight Zone". {rjm}
+ LENSCRAFTERS (the eyeglasses store chain)
- HANDS CRAFTERS. Similar name. Similar logo. Similar slogan.
+ Napster (a program to exchange sound and music on the internet)
- Nappster.com is reference to that. So are the lines "Internet
is about a free exchange and sale of other people's ideas.
We've done nothing wrong" and "And Nappster says illegal copies
never hurt anyone".
+ Nagware (Shareware programs with nagging reminder screens)
- Liubot's "Would you like to take a moment to register me?" is a
reference to a popular (and annoying) practice of inserting
nagging reminders in demo versions of shareware and commercial
programs.
+ Dunkin Donuts (Donut shop)
- DINKIN' DONUTS is a reference to that.
+ Mayor of New York
- Dinkin' Donuts is also named after the former Mayor of New York.
I remember his picture above the sign. {rjm}
+ Shanghai Noon (Movie)
- Lucy Liu was rescued by Jackie Chan in "Shanghai Noon". {rjm}
That was before he got all doughy, obviously.
+ Terminator 2 (Movie)
- Liubot in the projection room getting hit by corn is a takeoff
of the scene in Terminator 2 where the terminator walks down the
corridor getting hit by bullets.
+ "All in the Family" (TV series)
- Bender sitting on a couch smoking a cuban talking (in an
uneducated manner) about how humans and robots shouldn't
be getting together. {ink}
+ "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (Movie)
- One of the Luibot-sexy assassins stops to pose in a low kung fu
stance saying "Robot Crouching Tiger". {ink}
+ "Charlie's Angels" (Movie)
- "Charlie's Angels III" was playing at the cinema. {ink}
+ City Slickers II (Movie)
- "CHARLIE'S ANGELS III THE LEGEND OF CHARLIE'S GOLD" title
derived from "City Slickers II: the Legend of Curly's Gold" {rjm}
+ Star Wars (Movie)
- The planet destruction scene resembled the explosion of Alderaan
(and the planet looked similar). {rjm}
+ Jurrasic Park (Movie)
- The dinosaur scene is an obvious reference to 'Jurassic Park'.
- Plus the place is called "Jurrasic Kiddie Park" {rjm}
+ National Parks (Parks)
- The "Edge of the Universe" sign looks exactly like those in
national parks {rjm}
+ Wake ME Up, Before You Go-Go (Song by Wham)
- George Michael's head says please "pick me up before you go-go"
{e6}
+ Truman Era propaganda educational films
- The whole "I Dated A Robot" video shown to Fry. {MZ}
+ Star Trek Newsgroups
- The Kirk/Picard argument is still going strong. {MZ}
==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- "The Scary Door"
- [2ACV03] first appearance of that TV show
- Popcorn explosion
- [2ACV09] The popcorn destined for Cineplex 14 planet explodes on
approach to the sun.
- Aliens destroying Earth in the "I dated a robot" film
- [1ACV01] {MW}
- Loew's aleph-0-plex cinema
- [2ACV08] {MW}
==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
Sign at the edge of the Universe:
UNIVERSAL
Forest Service
EDGE OF UNIVERSE
SCENIC VIEW
On the pig dispenser:
DINO-FEED
5c
Hand-crafters sign:
HAND
CRAFTERS
NEW HANDS
IN ABOUT AN HOUR
Nappster Blimp:
DOWNLOAD
A CELEBRITY
FROM THE
INTERNET
nappster.com
Sign at E-bay
e(yellow)B(green)a(red)Y(blue)
Sign at Nappster:
nappster
.com
DOWNLOAD
ANY CELEBRITY FROM
A.A. MILNE TO Z.Z. TOP
On the box with blank robots:
10 BLANK
ROBOTS
MAC FORMATTED
On the wall in the Dinkin' Donuts:
IF FOOD IS NOT
RESONABLY CLEAN,
RETURN UNEATEN
PORTION FOR
PARTIAL REFUND
Sign at the qcquarium:
Brooklyn
Aquarium
SPECIAL EXHIBIT
BOIDS OF DA WATTA
The movie theatre:
LOEW'S
X-PLEX
NOW SHOWING THE 2007 CLASSIC
CHARLIE'S ANGELS III
THE LEGEND OF CHARLIE'S GOLD
Mike Zaite
Heads at Nappster:
Marin, Harrison Ford, Pamela Anderson, George Michael, Madeleine Albright.
==============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
Emetib67334
In A Bicyclops Built For Two it took 7 years to get on the internet.
The robot in the film wasn't in a hard drive like Fry's was.
Was Liubots skin a hologram or what?
If it was, how could she change clothes?
When did Bender steal Pavarotti's head?
The third Angel in the movie looks nothing like Drew Barrymore
==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary
==============================================================================
% The start of "The Scary Door" TV show.
Narr.: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or
contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter...
The Scary Door.
[The screen shows a man standing in front of the "3-eyed Jack's casino"]
Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional
gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.
% A car runs the man over. Screen goes white, comes back
% with the man sitting in front of a slot machine. He comes
% to and pulls the lever. The machine stops on three bars.
% Change rolls out of it.
Clyde: Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me.
I must be in heaven! [He pulls the level again and wins again]
A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be...
... in HELL!
% A man steps up from behind the slot machine.
Man: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heave or hell. You are on an airplane!
[He slides the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. Clyde
whimpers and looks out the window. A bluish creature sits on the
wing of the plane ripping wires out of it]
Clyde: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!
Man: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!
% He pulls a mirror from behind his back. Clyde's reflection indeed looks
% like Hitler.
Clyde: No! [Now he looks like Hitler. He turns to a woman sitting next
to him] Eva Braun! Help me! [The woman pulls off a mask,
revealing a head of a giant fly]
Clyde: A-a-ah!!!
% Cut to Planet Express staff, minus Fry, watching the show on TV.
Bender: Saw it coming.
% The door slides open and Fry rushes in.
Fry: I just saw something incredibly cool! A big floating ball that
lit up with every color in the rainbow plus some new ones that
were so beautiful I fell to my knees and cried.
Amy: Was it out in front Discount Shoe Outlet?
Fry: Y-y-yeah.
Amy: They have a college kid wear that to attract customers.
Fry Well, I don't care if was just some dork in a costume. For one
brief moment I felt the heartbeat of creation and it was one
with my own.
Amy: Big deal!
Bender: We all feel like that all the time, but you don't hear us gassing
on about it!
Fry: How can you people be so blase? Here you are in the year 3000 or
so, yet you just sit around like it's just the boring time that
I came from.
Prof.: Boring? Wasn't that the period when they cracked the human genome
and boy bands roamed the earth?
Fry: Yeah. But now it's the distant future! Why aren't we out doing
everything ever dreamed of?
Leela: Hey! You know what might be a hoot?
Prof. No. Why would I know that?
Leela: Let's take the rest of the morning off and take Fry to do everything
he ever wanted to do.
Fry: [In a sly tone] Everything?
Leela: Except that.
% Cut to a green planet and a station orbiting it. As camera approaches the
% station, we see "SAL'S WRECKING CO." written on it.
Sal: So's, you fantasy's always been to destroy the planet, huh?
Fry: Yeah! What did ever do for me?
% Fry aims at the planet and shoots. In a loud boom the planet is blown to
% bits.
Fry: Ha-ha-ha-haaa!
Leela: Wow, the most humdrum activities look almost exciting through your
eyes. What should we do next?
Fry; I wanna see the edge of the universe!
Amy: Oooh! That sounds cool.
Zoidberg: It's funny. You live in the universe, but you never do these
things till somebody comes to visit.
% The ship flies toward the edge of the universe. Whatever is located outside
% of the universe is milky white.
Professor: There it is! The edge of the universe!
% The ship sets down on a landing pad. Everyone walks to the edge of the
% universe which is separated by a brick parapet. A sign reading
%
% UNIVERSAL
% Forest Service
% EDGE OF UNIVERSE
% SCENIC VIEW
%
% and pay-binoculars are located near it. Fry inserts a quarter and looks
% through the binoculars. He finally stops on exact doubles of Planet
% Express staff in cowboy outfits waving "Hello".
Fry: Far out! So, there's an infinite number of parallel universes?
Prof.: No, just the two.
Fry: Oh, well, I'm sure that's enough.
Bender: I'm sick of parallel Bender lording his cowboy head over me! Let's
move on to Fry's next fantasy.
% Cut to Fry riding a tyranosaurus.
Fry: Yeehaw! Bow before your master, puny mortals! Whoo! Giddy-up!
Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! Woopee!
Girl: Mommy, why is that man like that?
Mother: Don't look at him!
% Fry gets off the tyranosaurus.
Fry: That was fun. Let's give him a treat.
% He walks to animal food dispenser full of pigs with a sign
%
% DINO-FEED
% 5c
%
% He buys a pig and carries it to the tyrannosaurus pen. He lifts it up above
% his head. Tyrannosaurus walks to it.
Leela: Keep your palms flat.
% Loud chomping is heard.
Fry: Hee-hee-ha-ha-ha. The tongue tickles. Oh-hee-hee-ha-ha-ha.
% When he lowers his arms he finds both of his hands missing. He looks at
% the stumps surprised.
%
% Cut to the sign
%
% HAND
% CRAFTERS
% NEW HANDS
% IN ABOUT AN HOUR
%
% Fry walks out of the store followed by others.
Fry: [Warming up his new hands] These new hands are great.
I'm gonna break 'em in tonight!
Prof.: Yes, it's been quite an hour and a half.
Fry: I've only got two fantasies left. To be invisible in a chocolate
factory and to be romantically linked with a celebrity.
Bender: [Takes out a lead pipe] I could pound your head till you think
that's what happened.
Fry: Okay.
Leela; Wait, hold on! It is actually possible to meet any celebrity you want.
Fry: It is?
Leela: Of course! You should read a blimp sometimes.[Points at a blimp]
% The blimp reads
%
% DOWNLOAD
% A CELEBRITY
% FROM THE
% INTERNET
% nappster.com
Fry: [Reads] Download a celebrity from the internet. What part of that do
I understand?
Leela: It's simple. You can download a celebrity's personality and appearance
into a blank robot.
Fry: Hey, I have an idea. Let's do that!
% Back to Planet Express. Leela and Fry put on internet suits.
Prof.: On to the internet you go!
Bender: Oh, and while you are there, pick me up a few credit card numbers!
% Flash of blue light and Fry and Leela are online. They "materialize" in
% front of a building with a sign
%
% PENTAGON.WEB
% TOP SECRET
%
% Several people in burglar outfits climb in and out of it through the
% broken windows. Leela and Fry walk away from it. The pass building with a
% sign:
%
% OldTREK-vs-NewTREK
%
% Two people argue inside:
Man 1: No way! Kirk could kick Picard's ass!
Man 2: Yeah? At least Picard had the guts to admit he was bald.
Man 1: What? You take that back!
% They pass an auction room with a sign
% e(yellow)B(green)a(red)Y(blue)
Fry: Ooh! E-bay!
% Cut to auctioneer. The lot is Milky Way.
Auctioneer: Are there no further bids for this exquisite galaxy? Sold! To the
being of inconceivable horror!
BOIH: Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Will a money order be OK?
Auctioneer: Yes!
BOIH: Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
% Back to Fry and Leela.
Fry: So where's the celebrity dating place?
Leela: Let's search the web. [Looks around] Over there.
% Sign
%
% nappster
% .com
% DOWNLOAD
% ANY CELEBRITY FROM
% A.A. MILNE TO Z.Z. TOP
%
% Leela and Fry walk in.
Man: Welcome to Nappster. Let's see what celebrities we've got in stock.
Can I interest you in Gwyneth Paltrow?
Fry: Nah! I read in NewsWeek that she drinks human blood.
Man: Then how about Cleopatra whose beauty destroyed mighty empires?
Fry: Mmm, I prefer someone from the era of shaved underarms. Do you have
anyone with more of a Lucy Liu feel to it?
Man: Nah, nothing like that. Although we do have Lucy Liu.
Fry: Ooh!
Man: Only woman to be named People's magazine sexiest woman of the year
twice: in 2003 and then again in 2063.
Fry: I'd like the 2003 model.
% Fry takes off his internet helmet. Back to Planet Express.
Fry: Wahoo! I found her! What do I do now?
Prof.: Download her! Let's just put a blank robot in the drive.
% Professor walks to a box that says on the side:
%
% 10 BLANK
% ROBOTS
% MAC FORMATTED
%
% opens it and take out a robot. Fry takes it from him, carries it over
% and puts it in the drive. Downloading starts and the robot turns into Lucy
% Liu, gradually from the bottom up.
Fry: [Gasps] It worked!
% Liubot walks out of the drive and walks up to Fry.
Liubot: You are one sexy man, [in mechanical voice] Philip J. Fry!
% Liubot jumps Fry, starts kissing him, eventually bringing him down.
Fry: It worked perfectly!
% [End of Act One. Act Time: 7:09 Running Time: 7:09]
% Fry stands gaping at Liubot.
Leela: Well, you downloaded Lucy Liu. Are you just gonna stare vacantly
at her and not say anything?
Fry: [Goofily] Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Liubot: I find you slack-jawed stare very attractive, [mechanically] Philip
J. Fry!
Fry: Did you hear that? She likes me!
Prof.: Well, duh! She's programmed to like you!
Fry: But this is Lucy Liu! Perhaps the only good actress of the 21
century. She's more than just a piece of software.
Liubot: Would you like to take a moment to register me?
Fry: Eh.. Not right now.
Liubot: I'll remind you later you hot stud, you.
Fry: So, what do you feel like doing?
Liubot: Would you like to take a moment to register me?
Fry: I said later!
% Cut to the "DINKIN' DONUTS" shop.
% Fry and Liubot sit at the table. The sign on the wall says:
%
% IF FOOD IS NOT
% RESONABLY CLEAN,
% RETURN UNEATEN
% PORTION FOR
% PARTIAL REFUND
Fry: And then when I feel so stuffed I can't eat anymore I just use the
restroom and then I CAN eat more!
Liubot: You should write a book, Fry, people need to know about the
[mechanically] can eat more!
Fry: Oh, Lucy! You are just like I always thought you'd be from your
movies.
Liubot: My personality is mathematically derived from my movies,
proportionally weighed by boxoffice receipts.
% Cut to to
%
% Brooklyn
% Aquarium
% SPECIAL EXHIBIT
% BOIDS OF DA WATTA
%
% "I'm just a love machine" playing
%
% Fry and Liubot throw meat in the shark tank. Tentacles of seamonster emerge
% and grab it. Liubot applauds. The camera shows Fry with a hotdog in one
% hand and a drink in the other bobbing up and down as if he's riding a horse.
% Then it's revealed that he's sitting on the shoulders of Liubot. Fry plays
% with toy soldiers, throws one at the fan, the soldier bounces back at him,
% he ducks. Liubot looks at him adoringly and then jumps him.
% Finally, Fry and Liubot sit on the couch holding hands, looking at each
% other.
Fry: [Points at Liubot] You are cute!
Liubot: [Points at Fry] You are cute!
Fry: You!
Liubot: You!
Fry: You!
Liubot: You!
Fry: You!
Prof.: Oh, dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop and he's an idiot! Well,
that's love for you.
Bender: Humans dating robots is sick! You people wonder why I'm still single?!
It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
Leela: Bender, this is Fry's decision. And he made it wrong! So it's time
for us to interfere in his life.
% A bit later.
Leela: She doesn't really love you. She can't. She's just a machine that...
Bender: Stay away from our women! You've got metal fever, boy! Metal fever!
Fry: So what if I love a robot? It's not hurting anybody.
Hermes: My God! He never took middle school hygiene! He never saw the
propaganda film!
Prof.: It's just lucky I keep a copy in the VCR at all times!
% Professor pops the tape into VCR, the screen flashes showing the title
%
% I DATED
% A ROBOT!
%
% Change to a boy and a girl sitting in a diner looking at each other.
% A man walks out from the side of the screen.
Man: Ordinary human dating. It's enjoyable and it serves an important
purpose. [Rolls the table over to reveal a crying baby. Then rolls it
back over] But when a human dates and artificial mate there is no
purpose, only enjoyment. And that leads to... ...Tragedy!
% He steps back over the side of the screen. The girl disappears. In her
% place appears a blank robot, that changes to Marilyn Monroe.
Boy: Neato! A Marilyn Monroebot!
Monroebot: Oooh! You're a real dreambot, [mechanically] Billy Everyteen!
Man: Harmless fun? Let's see what happens next!
% Billy and Monroebot are making out. Billy's mother walks in.
Mother: Billy, do you want to walk your dog?
Billy: No thanks, mom, I'd rather make out with my Monroebot.
Father: Billy, do you to get a paper out and make some extra cash?
Billy: No thanks, dad, I'd rather make out with my Monroebot.
Girl: Billy, do you want to come over tonight, we could make out together.
Billy: Gee, Mavis, your house is across the street. It's an awfully long way
to go for making out.
% The man walks in from outside of the screen.
Man: Did you notice what went wrong in this scene? Ordinarily, Billy
would work hard to make money with his paper route. Then he'd use
money to buy dinner for Mavis, thus earning a slim chance to
perform the reproductive act. But in a world where teens can date
robots, why should he bother? Why should anyone bother? Let's take
a look at Billy's planet a year later. [A foam hand rolls across
a football field]. Where are all the football stars? [The foam
hand rolls across a lab] And where are the biochemists? [Split
screen of human-robot couples making out] They are trapped, trapped
in a soft, vice-like grip of robot lips. [The words "SCIENCE",
"SPORTS", "TECHNOLOGY", "WAR", "CRIME", "DRAMA" appear on the
screen and crumble as if made of stone] All civilization was just
an effort to impress the opposite sex. And sometimes the same sex.
Now, let's skip forward 80 years into the future. Where is Billy?
% Billy is an old man, lying in bed, still making out with Monroebot.
Billy: Farewell! [Dies]
Man: The next day Billy's planet was destroyed by aliens. [A flock of
flying saucers fly by shooting down buildings] Have you guessed the
name of Billy's planet? It was Earth! DON'T DATE ROBOTS!
% A lizard pope logo appears with "Crocodylus pontiflex" and the same in
% alien alphabet written around it.
Voice: Brought to you by... [lizardy voice] Bah! Space pope!
Leela: Did that make any impression on you, Fry? Fry?
% Fry is making out with Liubot. Both giggle.
Prof.: I knew I should've shown him "Electrogonorrhea - the noisy killer".
% Leela and Bender sit and talk.
Bender: What is the world coming to? That Fry is a sicko poivert, I tell ya!
Dating a robot... It's an attrocimacy.
Leela: But Fry is out friend, Bender!
Bender: Ah, geez! Would you stifle there, meatbag?
Leela: You stifle, Bender!
Zoidberg: Hooray! Finally, you're standing up to him!
Leela: Although he is completely right.
Bender: We've got to stem this tidal wave of moral decay. It's time to shut
down Nappster dot com.
% Cut to Nappster building.
Bender: Who's in charge in this dump?
Nerd: That would be me. if you are an investor you can dump your money
in the hole there. [Points to the hole]
Bender: Listen, you fat internet nerd!
Nerd: Listening.
Bender: Your company promotes wrong love. If you don't shut down right now,
the only thing wired about you will be your jaw.
Nerd: You can't shut us down! The internet is about free exchange and
sale of other people's ideas. We've done nothing wrong.
Voice: Help! I'm being held prisoner!
Zoidberg: Whoa! Someone in trouble is!
Nerd: No, stay out! There's a... a guy going for the tetris world record
in there.
% He bangs his back on the door, the plate covering part of the sign above
% the door falls off, revealing the name "kidnappster". Everyone gasps.
% Bender pushes him aside and walks in. Inside are shelves with heads of
% different celebrities.
Voices: Who are you? Don't hurt us!
Lucy Liu: Help me! They've been holding me prisoner for 800 years!
Zoidberg: The real Lucy Liu! The one you can see a movie of in the
popcorn stadium!
Bender: So what's your problem?
Lucy Liu: Those sweaty nerds are making illegal copies of us. [The screen
about her head lights up with "DOWNLOADING". She screams in pain]
Ow! It hurts!
Nerd: [Knocks on the door] Open this door! Don't make me call the
maintenance guy!
Bender: It's a bluff!
Leela: We can't take that chance. Move, people, move!
George Michael: Please pick me up before you go-go!
Leela: She asked first!
% Leela picks up the Lucy Liu jar. Alarm goes off. Leela replaces it with
% the nearest head, which is Madeleine Albright. Download proceeds. Cut to
% a dark room where a nerdy looking teen is waiting for download before a
% table with candles. When the download completes Albrightbot walks out.
Nerd: Ah, are you Lucy Liu?
Albrightbot: [Looks around] Sure.
% [End of Act Two. Act Time: 7:03 Running Time: 14:12]
% Leela, Zoidberg and Bender climb out the side window and run away. The fat
% nerd and his boss look at them through security cameras.
Nerd: We are doomed! They got the head, they uncovered the sign! Soon the
whole world will learn we are cybercriminals! And we would've gotten
away with it if it weren't for these meddling adults! [Points at
Leela, Zoidberg and Bender on the screen]
Boss: We'll stop them. They like Lucy Liu? We'll give them all the Lucy Liu
they can handle. Give me that backup disk!
% He inserts the disk in the drive, turns the LIU-MO-STAT from "COMPETENT
% LAYER" position through "ICY DOMINATRIX" to "EROTIC ASSASIN", then presses
% Ctrl-K.
% Bender, Leela and Zoidberg walk on the street carrying Lucy Liu jar.
Zoidberg: Did you see me escaping? I was all like whoo-whoo-whoo-whoop.
Lucy Liu: Thanks for rescuing me. Especially you, Bender. Hmm, quite a
masculine piece of metal, aren't you?
Bender: Hey! Don't look at me like that! If you thinking of crossing the
line with Bender you can forget it! Bender don't bend that way!
Leela: Hey, look! It's another Lucy Liu bot.
Liubot: I am Lucy Liu. Give me your spines! [Jumps high, lands and
kicks Zoidberg in the head]
Zoidberg: What's the..ooh..
Liubot: [Advances on Bender, punches him, then grabs him with a leg-lock
and throws him] Take this! And that. And one of these.
Lucy Liu: Hey, cut it out! I don't need this kind of publicity!
% Liubot advances on Leela and kicks her in the head several times, finally
% knocking her down.
Leela: Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! All right, Liu! Time to kick your
frosty, well toned ass!
% Leela and Liubot exchange punches and kicks, until Leela kicks Liubot so
% that it hits its back on a hydrant and gets stuck on it.
Bender: And along came Bender.
% Bender turns on the water. Liubot starts bulging.
Zoidberg: Looks like you are retaining water. [Snaps his claw]
% Liubot explodes in a splash.
Everyone: Whoohoo! Yeah!
Lucy Liu: That was incredible, Bender! You are like Jackie Chan before he got
all doughy.
Bender: Ah, shucks! I wasn't afraid of that robot. I'm pretty brave once
you get past my macho exterior. [Sees Liubots] A-a-ay!
% A bunch of Liubots advance on them, marching.
Bender: It's an army of Lucy Lius!
Zoidberg: [Shrieks]
Lucy Liu: They are horrible!
% Liubots start a wave of destruction, rolling over cars, smashing
% mailboxes, roughing up people.
Liubots: Take this! And that! And one of these! Robot crouching tiger!
Robot crane style.
Zapp: Now that's a wave of destruction that's easy of the eyes.
% A Liubot grabs him by the throat and throws him head first in the sewer.
% Frame change to "LOEW'S X-PLEX" theater "NOW SHOWING THE 2007 CLASSIC
% CHARLIE'S ANGELS III THE LEGEND OF CHARLIE'S GOLD"
% Fry and Liubot watch the movie.
Fry: This is the best movie I've ever seen. It has a vampire AND an
explosion.
Liubot: It's amazing the way you [mechanically] notice two things!
% In the movie:
Lucy Liu: No, don't open that coffin! It's ticking!
Diaz: I have to, Alex! That coffin's not going to open itself!
% The coffin opens up, a vampire pops out of it and explodes.
% Fry and Liubot kiss. Leela, Bender and Zoidberg run into the theater.
Lucy Liu: Let's hide in here. It'll add to my boxoffice gross.
Leela: Fry!
Fry: Ah, you guys came to watch me make out. That is so sweet.
[Sees Lucy Liu jar]. Aw! Wait a second! Is that the head of who
I think it's of?
Lucy Liu: Read the jar, Evelyn Wood! Dr. Z? [Zoidberg snaps his claw].
Leela: Fry, a herd of Lucy Lius are destroying the city. Is yours acting
normally?
Fry: Let me see... [Kisses Liubot]. Yep, why do you ask?
% In the movie:
Lucy Liu: Mr. Mayor, if you want to see a real vampire, look in the mirror!
Mayor: I can't! I am a vampire!
% The screen rips and goes out of focus. An army of Liubots enters through
% the screen and starts creating mayhem. One of the Liubots hits Zoidberg
% repeatedly with a chair.
Zoidberg: A-a-ah! Why? Ooh! Ooh!
Leela: And Nappster says illegal copies never hurt anybody.
Fry: Quick! This way! [Points to the door to the projection room]
% Everyone runs, Liubots follow. Fry stops to show them the "Employees only"
% sign.
Fry: Sorry, ladies, employees only! [A Liubot swallows the sign]. Ah!
% Fry runs up the stairs, Liubots run after him. He manages to shut the door
% just before their noses.
% In the projection room:
Leela: Oh, no! They are forming a human pyramid! Of robots!
Bender: Damn it! We weren't counting on them being as smart as they are
sexy.
Lucy Liu: A dangerous mistake to make.
% Zoidberg opens back door, revealing a 10000 lbs bag of "BALCONY-GRADE
% POPCORN".
Zoidberg: At least we've got food.
Leela: Dr. Zoidberg, cut open that bag!
Zoidberg: Hooray!
Leela: And don't eat it!
Zoidberg: Ow...
% Zoidberg cuts the bag, a stream of corn shoots out, knocking him down
% and proceeds to rain down on Liubots through the projection room window,
% also knocking down their robot human pyramid.
Liubots: Ow! Ow! Ow! System error! Do not compute!
Everyone: Whoohoo! Hey!
Zoidberg: Life was bad. But now it's good. Forever!
% Liubots eat the popcorn, stand up and start spitting it at incredible
% speed in the projection room window. Everyone ducks in panic.
% Bender grabs Lucy Liu's head jar.
Bender: You'll be safe in here, sweetheart. [Opens the door on his body,
takes out a jar with Pavarotti's head]. Get lost, Pavarotti!
Pavarotti: No-o-o-o-o!
Fry: Lucy Liubot, if I don't survive the corn I want you to know that
I love you as much as a man can love a computerized image of
a gorgeous celebrity. Which, it turns out, is a lot.
Liubot: Oh, Fry. I love you more than the moon, and the stars and the
[mechanically] poetic image number 37 not found!
% Liubot stands up, walks to the projector and points it down.
Fry: What are you doing, darling? Get down!
Liubots: Light hot! Oil temperature rising! Oh, no! Malfunction.
This ain't good. System error!
% Liubots explode in a big popcorn bang.
Fry: You saved us! Are you all right?
Liuubot: Yes, my love. I'll be just [mechanically] massive corn clog
in port 7!
Lucy Liu: Are you the last copy of me?
Liubot: Yes.
Lucy Liu: Erase her, Fry.
Fry: What? No!
Lucy Liu: Fry, when you downloaded her without my permission you stole my
image. And in the end it's all I really have. That, and the
largest gold nugget in the world, one mile in diameter.
Fry: But I just downloaded her because I love you!
Lucy Liu: If you love the real Lucy Liu, and not just what you've seen in
movies, genre-straddling lawyer shows and kiss-ass articles in People
magazine, you'll blank out that robot.
Fry: I'm sorry. Hug me, Liubot. [Pushes "Erase" button on her back].
Liubot: I'll always remember you, Fry... [mechanically] Memory deleted!
% Liubot is decreased to a blank robot. Fry whimpers.
Bender: I know it hurts, buddy. But at least you are not in a sick
relationship with a robot anymore.
Fry: Aha. And I guess now, maybe, I can get to know the real Lucy
Liu.
Bender: [Blows raspberry] Yeah, at our wedding!
Lucy Liu: It's true. Bender and I are in love.
Fry: But, but...
Bender: Don't be a prude, Fry. [Kisses Lucy Liu. Both giggle]
% Heart-wipe focuses on them. Heart-wipe moves over to Fry who is
% twitching at with anger.
% [End of Act Three. Act Time: 7:39 Running Time: 21:51
==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{} Me
{ink} Ink
{rjm} Robert J. Muldoon
{e6} Emetib67334
{MZ} Mike Zaite
{MW} Marc W
{DD} Dr_Dave
TV Guide synopses by TV Guide
Opening Theme cartoon information from:
http://www.palmy.net.nz/futurama/opening/
The capsule has been compiled and the transcript written by Me whose name I prefer not to mention.
You can do whatever you want with this capsule, but be reasonable.