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============= THE FUTURAMA CHRONICLES ==== EPISODE CAPSULE =============
========================================================================
Official Title: Fry and the Slurm Factory
Episode Number: 1ACV13 (#13)
First Airdate : Sunday, November 14th, 1999 (8:30 PM)
Written by : Lewis Morton
Directed by : Ron Hughart
========================================================================
= Additional tidbits =
Opening theme promotion : [LIVE] from Omicron Persei 8
Opening theme cartoon : Simpsons Ullman short "Making Faces (mg09)"
14-Nov-99 Nielsen ranking: 8.2 million viewers (#45 for the week)
MPAA rating : TV-PG-L
Length minus commercials : [21:18]
========================================================================
= Foxworld Synopsis =
Fry opens a "Slurm" beverage container bearing the golden
bottle cap
and wins a tour of the "Slurm" Factory (a la "Willy
Wonka") to see
how the world's most deliciously addictive soft drink is made.
Wandering off from the tour, Fry is horrified when he accidentally
discovers the top-secret ingredient that makes "Slurm" so
impossible
to resist.
========================================================================
= Minutiae =
- Bender's antennae droops forward while he's sick.
- Bender's internal thermometer is an oven thermometer. {hl}
- Dr. Zoidberg's human anatomy wall-chart, once again, is hanging
upside-down. (Also seen in 1ACV02.)
- Of the four protective goggles available, one is a single pane --
appropriate for Leela -- whereas the other goggles are two panes,
with an opaque section between them. {mp}
- According to the sign outside 7^11 ("Open [28] Hours"), in
3000, a
day will now consist of 28 hours? {jk} [Maybe they function by
Omicron Persei Time. (No planet in our solar system has a rotation
of 28 hours.) {jb}]
- On the shelves of 7^11 are cans of Mom's Old-Fashioned Robot Oil,
Bachelor Chow bags, Robo-Fresh capsules, Tanning Butter and Baked
Beans.
- A sign on the back wall of 7^11 advertises "Ice-Cold Slurmees."
- There is a 1990's surveillance camera in the store. {woh}
- The televisions in the store are turned on, but all they recieve is
blue. {woh}
- Instead of Hot Dogs there are Hot Logs. {woh}
- The 3-D Scrabble game has Farnsworh holding the letters FUUTAMR,
which is one "A" away from FUTURAMA. {mp}
- The horizontal word in the center board seems to say MATT. {jb}
- Mutant sized shirts had two extra arms. {dj3}
- The t-shirt that Dr. Zoidberg wears in the Slurm Factory Gift Shop,
that he thinks is too tight around the thorax, contains actual Hebrew
writing that spells out "Slurm" phoenetically.
- The 'authorities' that Farnsworth calls are the "Bureau of Soft
Drinks, Tobacco and Firearms." {da}
========================================================================
= Parallels to Science Fiction =
~ "Aliens" (movie)
- The Slurm Queen's body looks like the Alien Queen's swollen
ovipositor. The Slurm comes out of the end almost exactly like it
did when she lays an egg in the movie. In Aliens you only see it
in one shot, right after Ripley gets pissed and throws a bunch of
grenades into it. {dj3}
+ "Star Trek: The Next Generation" (movie/TV show)
- The game that Amy and the Professor are playing when Fry finds the
cap is 3D Scrabble -- Scrabble played on a 3D chess board. {sh3}
+ "Star Wars" (movies)
- The "elusive Yak Face" [as written in alien language in
the Slurm
advertisement] is a Star Wars reference: Yak Face is the one
action figure never sold in America, only on overseas markets, and
stateside collectors pay through the nose for 'em. {th2} (See
"Final Thoughts / Comments.")
+ "Soylent Green" (movie)
- Soylent Green is a mysterious substance from the future that is
made from dead people -- much like Soylent Cola. [Now we know what
they do with contents of the suicide booths. {hl}]
========================================================================
= Other References =
~ "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" (movie)
- It's quite possible that the "Party on, Slurm" and "Party
on,
contest winners" bit at the end was a reference to "Bill
and Ted's
Excellant Adventure," where the title characters offer a similar
farewall to "Rufus" (George Carlin). {da}
+ Budweiser (beer)
- This beer has a mascot named Spuds McKenzie. Duuh.
- "The Slurmmaster," who inspects the Slurm for quality seems
a lot
like "The Brewmaster" that Budweiser likes to show in their
commercials. {da}
~ "Earthworm Jim" (videogame)
- The final boss of this game is "The evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated,
Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug for a But......."
She looks strikingly like the Slurm Queen, right down to her
excretory functions. (The game's ending challenge is to fight the
array of egg-bombs that spew from her behind.)
~ "Fantasia" (movie)
- Cutting the Worm in half resulting in two worms was featured in
this movie with brooms. {woh}
+ "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (movie/book)
- Title, plot, characters, settings, concepts and dialogue. You
know, nothing major.
- Diving into the cola ... well that scene was lifted right out of
the movie, when the boy dove in the chocolate stream. {dt} [The
scene was a definite reference, but in the movie/book, Augustus
Gloop _fell_ into the stream against his will. {rb}]
========================================================================
= Freeze Frame Fanaticism =
>> In the Slurm ad
SLURM HAS BEEN FOUND TO CAUSE
CANCER IN LABORATORY HUMANS.
EMPLOYEES OF SLURM CORP. AND
THEIR FAMILIES ARE ELIGIBLE TO
ENTER AND WILL PROBABLY WIN.
[Alien Language -- see "Fun Stuff."]
>> On the 7^11 shelves
[Mom's Robot Oil] [Robo-Fresh][Tanning Butter] [Indecipherable
--
GLAGNAR'S
[Bachelor Chow] [Baked Beans] human rinds?
]
========================================================================
= Goofs =
- If the F-ray can see through everything, it's not much use -- you
shouldn't be able to see anything, as you should see right through
it. {ddg} [It seems that it can be adjusted to show of whatever you
what to see. {sof}]
- Isn't Bender equipped with x-ray vision anyway? What was the thrill
of having an F-Ray to him when most of the things they looked at
weren't anything you needed a "special" beam for?
- Fry says he can't swim but he treads water just fine once Leela pulls
him to the surface.
- Since Fry, Bender and Leela were deposited underground, in order for
the "Fake Factory" door to be on the same level as the "Keep
Out!"
door, the river would have to be flowing upstream. (They were moving
with the current.)
- The freshly poured cans of Slurm, as they roll down the assembly
line, "slide" across the conveyor belt, a side-effect of
imperfectly
choreographed animation.
- Even if the Slurm Queen worked around the clock, she would still
barely be able to produce 1% of the Slurm needed to serve just one
planet, let alone the entire galactic marketplace.
- The hole in Bender's torso disappears for a time and then reappears
when it's needed.
========================================================================
= Extended Goofs / Technical Nitpicks =
>> When you brood upon a starmap
Mark Poyser: Outside Planet Express at night, the stellar pattern does
not appear to correspond to our current distribution. The star
positions will change, but not in any appreciable way in only 1000
years.
>> When the sun turns green, we'll speed up again.
Mark Poyser: The 7^11 sign indicates "28 hours," which is in
keeping
with the notion that the Earth's rotational speed is slowing down --
however, the slow-down rate is much much smaller than 4 hours / 1000
years.
>> "The neutrino beam it emits is a tad dangerous"
Mark Poyser: Since neutrinos have an extremely low chance of colliding
with matter (they are associated with the "weak force"),
the F-ray
mechanism must emit an enormous flux of the particles. Also, the
wavelength of the neutrino is a factor in particle interaction.
Presumably the F-ray emits neutrinos that are more likely to affect
carbon-oxygen-hydrogen based life forms.
========================================================================
= Reviews =
Jason Barrera: Great episode from Calculon's first utterances to the
final "Burns, Baby Burns"-ish party sequence. Slurm has
become a
much more interesting product than Duff or Buzz Cola ever was, and
its potent addictiveness was somewhat chilling. Best of the new
season. (A+)
Nate "Bender" Birch: This was a fairly decent episode, even
if "Willy
Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" was a pretty odd movie to parody.
The first act wasn't too great, with a pretty unbelievable plot and
only so-so jokes. The second act was by far the best, and had some
pretty good lines. Unfortunately in the end it broke down into
another dumb generic action/chase scene. The animation was good, but
Futurama's certainly seen better. Not bad but certainly not a
classic. (B)
Phish Eggs: Great episode with good story and most importantly it was
funny. But some of the jokes were kind of dumb. (A-)
Doug Jacobson: Great episode, I was laughing throughout most of it.
The parody of Willy Wonka was great. The songs were hysterical. The
running joke of how discussing the Umpalumpa things was hysterical.
As was finding out they were basicly slaves (the book gives the back
story about the Umpalumpas so you find out why they work at the
factory) The X-ray flashlight was hysterical ("Ok, Everyone get
on
goggles" then puts on radiation suit) and the characterization
was
well done. So this is easily an: (A)
Scott Mase: Fry and The Slurm Factory was the best episode of Futurama
yet! It had me laughing throughout the whole thing. I loved the
Willy Wonka parody, and the Grumpa-Lunkas. A very clever episode by
Matt Groening, with the crew finding the secret ingredient of Slurm.
The best parts were when Farnsworth told the Oompa-Loompa people he
hates them, and when the worm split in half after Leela chopped it.
Overall, I think this episode deserves an: (A)
Will O'Hargan: Great episode, a few high points, but the chase scene
reminded me of a typical "Simpsons" episode. The ending
was ok, but
where was all the Slurm coming from? (WHo cares it's a party!) (B)
Eric Sansoni: As much as the previous episode focuses on earthly
satire, this one emphasizes sci-fi comic book adventure. The
entertaining story progresses as slick as can be, but in the end
almost takes itself too seriously to rise above cliche. Although not
as excessively as in his "Garbage" ep, Lewis Morton expects
too much
comedic mileage from a drawn-out gross-out gag. The queen slug's
argument was actually pretty good, making her a less effective
villainess than Mom. A number of smoothly integrated cultural
references do serve to lighten things up. They are a joy to spot,
but Fry's airheadedness, Bender's greed, and all of the usual cast's
personalities prove to be the most reliable source of laughs. (B+)
Yours Truly: I was disappointed. I thought the episode would be more
adventurous and focus more on the gadgetry and surroundings in the
Slurm Factory, and instead I saw dozens of jokes about Fry being
moronic. A lot of it was stylistic but the characters and a lot of
the situations were unspectacular and a little boring. (C)
Average Grade: [29/8=3.625] (B+)
========================================================================
= Final Thoughts / Comments =
>> Sequential Title Sequence Tidings
Don Del Grande: The cartoon in the opening is the Simpsons short
"Making Faces" -- more accurately, the last scene, right
after Mom
(she wasn't named Marge back then) tells the kids "I told you
your
faces would freeze that way, and now they have"; the kids are
looking
in the mirror, screaming "Aaaahh! We're doomed!"
>> A long time ago, in a fanbase far, far away ...
According to the alien language in the Slurm TV commercial, one of the
species ineligible for the Slurm contest is "the evusive Yak-Face."
Some avid fans explain how this was a reference to Star Wars:
Tim Harrod: "Yak Face" is the one action figure never sold
in America,
only on overseas markets, and stateside collectors pay through the
nose for 'em.
Eric Sansoni: Funny indeed. To give more detail, Yak Face was the
final 3 3/4" Star Wars action figure released in the original
Kenner
toy series, which ran from 1978 to 1985. The character was one of
several obscure background aliens from Return of the Jedi, seen only
in a few frames of the movie, that was nevertheless honored with an
action figure. Two years after the final episode in the trilogy hit
the big screen, the toy line was discontinued due to lagging sales,
as more heavily promoted toys like G.I.Joe and Transformers took its
place on store shelves. The final new figure, Yak Face, was the only
one who never made it into case assortments for U.S. distribution.
Now Yak Face sells for $150 loose, in mint condition, and upwards of
$500 still sealed in his original multi-language package. The price
for one in the much rarer U.S.-language package is hundreds more.
Fans on a budget may be glad to know that a similarly sized, but
newly sculpted action figure of the character was produced in 1997
as
part of the second Star Wars action figure line, and can be commonly
purchased for about $5.00.
>> One robot, indivisible, with contempt and resentment for all
Benjamin Robinson: Bender's CPU is apparently a 6502, a processor dear
to the hearts of early (as in late 70s) microcomputer enthusiasts.
The 6502's most famous home was in the Apple II and most of its
variants, like the IIe, II+, and IIc [*]. It also found its way into
the Atari 8-bit line -- 400, 800, 1200XL, and some others that I
forget. Meanwhile, Atari's arch-rival Commodore used the similar
6510 chip in the C64.
To give you an idea of how far processor technology has come: In the
Apple II, the 6502 ran at 1 (yes, 1) MHz. It also did not have a
divide instruction, so if programmers wanted to find out how many of
x went into y they had to write their own division routine.
[*] - Pedantic mode: Actually the IIc used the 65C02, the low-power,
low-heat version.
Bruce Gomes: The 6502 chip was made by MOS Technology, used in the
Apple-1, Apple II, Apple II+ and the Coomodore PET series, to name
a
few of the popular systems.
Curtiss Howard: For those who don't know, the M6502 is the processor
used in the original Nintendo.
Zach Keene: And the Apple II computer line, and a few of the Atari
8-bit computers.
>> It's a Bunch'a-Munch'a-Crunch'a Humans!
Daniel Tropea: The line about Soylent Cola was cute but seemed a bit
too cheap of a gag. No real thought went into it.
J.D. Baldwin: I'd agree, if it hadn't been for the follow-up: "It
varies from person to person." That was a clever little twist
on
what was, after all, an obvious joke. I think the whole thing would
have been better if they'd just stopped at saying, "There's already
a
soda like that." Add an awkward pause, and it's genuinely
funny/disturbing. Add the soylent line and it's just another pop
culture reference. I enjoy pop culture references as much as
anyone, but they're not exactly in short supply on Fox Sunday nights.
>> If only he had used a modern language like Neptunian or HTML
Doug Jacobson: Usually when Jewish teenagers go to Israel one of the
things they buy are shirts written in Hebrew (because it looks cool).
A large percentage of them seem to get the Coca-Cola shirt which is
has the familiar logo in Hebrew, Zoidberg was getting one that said
(appropriately) "Slurm," which is funny since he has a very
slight
touch of a Yiddish accent.
Benjamin Robinson: I wonder how many people saw Dr. Zoidberg's shirt
and said, "Oh boy! A new alien language for us to decipher!"
[A few
did -- and you know who you are. <g> -ed]
>> Got Poop?
Haynes Lee tells us that milk comes from a cow's udder and honey comes
from a honeycomb.
Alan Hamilton: Right on the first, but wrong on the second. How does
it get from the flowers to the honeycomb? The bee swallows it, and
regurgitates it into a cell in the comb (along with some yummy
enzymes from its stomach). So the queen was still wrong -- it's bee
barf, not bee poop.
Brian Corvello: Apparently, she didn't know that cows are now extinct,
according to Amy. (Of course, they may only be extinct on Earth, and
alive on other planets.)
>> Image is nothing. Chemical dependancy is everything.
Haynes Lee provides two 'Cokelore' Alerts:
Slurm is the universe's most addictive soft drink.
T. Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine.
T. ... but people today get addicted the the caffeine. See
<http://snopes.simplenet.com/cokelore/cocaine.htm>
Slurm contaminated by Leela will be marketed as New Slurm as a
greater plan to market the original product.
F. The New Coke fiasco was actually a clever marketing ploy. See
<http://snopes.simplenet.com/cokelore/newcoke.htm>
Brian Corvello: The Queen's plan to turn Leela into a Slurm Queen who
makes "sour" Slurm, which they will sell as "New Slurm,"
and replace
months later with "Slurm Classic" is a direct parody of the
"New
Coke" mess in the eighties. (I'm guessing that the Slurm Queen
studied Earth history.)
>> it's time to leave partying to the 120-year-olds
Andreas "Phreke" Harrison: Anyone notice when Slurms McKenzie
said that
the Babes had been partying with him for 40 years? Poit! Just shows
how well people age in the future, I suppose. Makes you wonder how
old Leela, Amy, Hermes and the rest actually are. Also, one of the
Babes was voiced by Pamela Anderson (the blond, I assume).
>> Last, and probably least ...
Derek Robb, commenting on Fry's sterilization via the F-Ray beam, says
"I don't think it's actually going to affect any of his long-term
plans ... "
Daniel Tropea: When the tour guide stated that they were pretty much
slaves I thought of the first movie and got the feeling that the
Oompa Loompa's really were slaves and that Wonka was exploiting them.
At least I am not the only person to think that.
Terry Spafford: I know it hadn't been intended, but as a rather
interesting coincidence, SPACE up here in Canada was showing Soylent
Green at 8PM last night ... Which is, of course, when
Simpsons/Futurama/X-Files is on (Eastern time).
Haynes Lee: Slurm Queen looks like a termite queen.
Don Del Grande: Why didn't they cut Slurms McKenzie in two? Then they
would have one to save them _and_ one to help them party afterwards.
Brian Corvello: By dragging the trough full of "condensed"
Slurm
towards Leela -- in order to save her without leaving the highly
addictive stuff -- Fry actually, for once, did something smart!
========================================================================
= Fun Stuff =
>> Alien Language sightings
Slurm ad disclaimer: " THE FOLLOWING SPECIES ARE
INELIGIBLE: SPACE WASPS,
SPACE BEAVERS, ANY OTHER ANIMAL
WITH THE WORD "SPACE" IN FRONT
OF IT, SPACE CHICKENS, AND THE
ELUSIVE YAK-FACE. "
Dr. Zoidberg's eye chart: " N O
SQ UI
N TIN G
F O U R
E Y E S "
>> References to Previous Episodes
- [1ACV01] Suicide Booth seen
- [1ACV02] Inside Dr. Zoidberg's office seen
- [1ACV02] Bender tries to cheat a machine using his arm
- [1ACV02] The crew uses the couch in the PE ship
- [1ACV03] "Robo Fresh" seen
- [1ACV03] "Bachelor Chow" seen
- [1ACV03] Amy slips and falls on her back
- [1ACV06] Fry ends Act One by falling unconscious
- [1ACV07] F-Ray cf., Z-Ray
- [1ACV12] "Tanning Butter" seen
>> Fan-made Alternate Titles for this Episode
"Can Doo"
"Close Encounters of the Thirsty Kind"
"Slurm, Baby Slurm" {hl}
"Slurm's Greatest Secrets Revealed: Part I"
"Slurm Is It" {es}
========================================================================
= Voice Credits =
>> Starring
Billy West ....................... Fry, Farnsworth, Zoidberg, Glermo,
Grunka-Lunka
1
Katey Sagal ................................................... Leela
John DiMaggio .................................. Bender, Hermaphrobot
>> Special Appearances
Pamela Anderson ............................................... Dixie
>> Guest Starring
Tress MacNeille .................. Monique, Braided Babe, Slurm Queen
David Herman ........................................ Slurms McKenzie
Maurice LaMarche ........................... Calculon, Grunka-Lunka
2
Phil LaMarr ....................................... Hermes, Announcer
Lauren Tom ...................................................... Amy
= Quotes and Scene Summaries =
% In the PE lounge at night, Fry and Bender watch an episode of "All
My
% Circuits," in which Calculon finds Monique in bed with his evil
half
% brother. After his half-brother excuses himself with a beeping noise,
% Calculon whips out a gun and quips: "You may be my evil half brother
% but there's no law against murdering the other half!" The show
goes
% to commercial, where we see an adversitsement for Slurm ("It's
highly
% addictive!"), and its mascot, an oversized, surf-boarding slug
named
% 'Slurms McKenzie'. 'Slurms' surfs onto a beach where he's greeted by
% two babes in bikinis, and everyone on the beach begins partying.
Bender: Look at that worm go. Who says there are no more heroes?
Slurms: Hey, dudes, you could win a chance to party with me, Slurms
McKenzie, at the Slurm bottling plant on planet Wormulon!
Announcer: Just look for the golden bottle cap inside specially marked
cans of Slurm.
[one babe finds the bottle cap in her Slurm can]
Babe: I won!
Announcer: No purchase necessary unless you wish to enter the contest.
Odds of winning mathematically insignificant.
Fry: I like those odds!
% Fry hears a rattling inside his Slurm can and looks inside
% frantically, but it's only a tooth. He throws the empty can into a
% pile by his side and throws the tooth into a pile of similar loose
% teeth on the floor, then pops the tab on a new can, and sighs --
% showing us a wide, toothless grin.
% End of Act One (1:24)
% At the main PE table, Fry peers into yet another empty Slurm can, but
% once again discovers that he is a loser.
Fry: I got to find that golden bottle cap.
Leela: I've never seen anyone so addicted to Slurm.
Fry: This is nothing. Back in high school, I used to drink a
hundred cans of Cola a week. Right up until my third heart
attack.
% Bender enters through the front entrance with his hands clasped to his
% stomach, sneezing. The crew discovers that he's sick, and after Leela
% burns her hand in an attempt to feel his forehead, Professor
% Farnsworth reads Bender's body-tempurature off of a tempurature gauge
% inside his chest cavity. With a fever of 900 degrees, Bender is
% invited by Hermes to lie down on the couch ... but burns the entire
% couch to a crisp on the moment of contact. Hermes threatens to make
% him pay for it.
% Dr. Zoidberg is recruited to diagnose Bender. The crew gather in his
% office.
Zoidberg: I'll have a look but I remind you I'm an expert on humans,
not robots.
[he shines a tiny flashlight in Fry's face]
Fry: I'm not Bender. I'm Fry.
Zoidberg: Really? I thought _you_ were the robot.
Fry: Nope, human.
Zoidberg: Alright, alright, spare me your life story. [to Bender]
Now, what seems to be the trouble?
Bender: My tummy hurts and I've been having this burning electrical
discharge.
% Zoidberg assures Bender he'll be fine, but then walks away in grief,
% assembling rest of the gang to listen. "I didn't have the heart
to
% tell him it's fin fungus. He'll be floating upside down by morning."
% He then sulks out of the room and the gang resumes trying to diagnose
% Bender.
Amy: You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Take some zinc.
Bender: I'm 40% zinc.
Amy: Then take some echinacea or St. John's wort.
Prof.: Or a big, fat placebo. It's all the same crap.
[Bender coughs; something rattles inside him]
Leela: Hey, what's rattling around in there?
Prof.: It may well be the cause of Bender's illness but more
importantly, it's a flimsy pretext to try out my latest
invention. To the laboratory!
% The crew heads off, with the Professor lagging behind. Inside his
% lab, he presents to them his latest piece of gadgetry -- the F-Ray.
% "It's like an x-ray only it allows you to see through anything.
Even
% metal." He provides protective goggles for the crew to wear in
lieu
% of the F-Ray's dangerous neutrino beams, and prepares a full-body
% radiation suit for himself, then focuses the F-Ray beam on Bender.
% After searching Bender's inner workings, the beam finally reveals a
% wristwatch caught between two gears in the torso area.
Amy: Hey, that's my watch!
Bender: I was wondering where I put that. [he reaches inside and
frees the watch, then hands it to Amy] Hey! Now I feel much
better. Thanks, Professor and, Amy -- sorry I took your
watch.
% They hug, and Bender reaches around to pluck her earrings off. He
% chuckles, throws them into his mouth and coughs. Professor Farnsworth
% takes off his radiation suit.
Prof.: Well, I've got to go take this suit to the decontaminators.
You two lock up the F-Ray, and for the love of God don't let
it
fall into the wrong hands.
% He drops the F-Ray into the hands of Fry and Bender, who giggle to
% each other, and then set out to the street to have some fun with their
% new toy. Fry volunteers to be the first test-subject, and when Bender
% shines the beam at his pelvis Fry bends forward in pain.
Fry: Ow, my sperm!
Bender: Wow, neat. Mind if I try that again?
[he does so]
Fry: Huh! Didn't hurt that time.
% A robot walks past them on the sidewalk, dressed like a whore with big
% hair and thighs, carrying a purse. Bender silently beckons her to
% hold still while he shines a peek at her insides, but gasps in shock.
Fry: What's wrong?
Bender: That's no lady!
Robot: [turns around] Damn, chica. One more upgrade and I'll be
more lady than you can handle. Why you so stupid, stupid?
Bender: Hey, bite my shiny metal ass.
Robot: You couldn't afford it, honey.
% He/she/it flips them both off with a crude hand-gesture and leaves.
% Fry and Bender decide to have some fun at the local 7^11, where the
% shelves are lined with food-products and the floor is decorated with
a
% Slurm can pyramid. Beside the pyramid are cardboard cut-outs of
% Slurms McKenzie and his henchbabes.
Fry: Man, all this prolonged exposure to radiation is making me
thirsty. [sees the Slurm display] Ah! If only there was
some way of knowing which can had the winning bottle cap
inside.
Bender: W-wha-what? I didn't hear you. I was too busy using this
F-Ray to look inside of things.
Fry: Wait a second. I'm getting an idea. No. False alarm. No,
yeah, no, yeah, no. Wait. No, yeah, yeah. No. No. Yes!
% A light, techno version of the Futurama theme accompanies the
% following scenes, in which Fry and Bender try to find as many Slurm
% cans as possible and scan them. They search the entire pyramid, to
no
% avail. Bender swipes a can from a kid on the street and, as an
% encore, uses the F-Ray beam to pop his balloon and run away. Fry
% scans a Slurm vending machine as Bender steals coins from underneath
% it, and Bender tries to see inside a Slurm blimp overhead, but burns
a
% hole in the center, and they run away as it deflates. They finally
% return to F-Ray to its rightful owner, interrupting a game of 3D
% Scrabble between him and Leela in the PE lounge.
Bender: Ah, this thing stinks.
Fry: We checked 90,000 cans of Slurm and all we won was this junk.
[gestures to a wheelbarrow full of crap bearing the Slurm
logo] I never want to see another can of Slurm again. Man,
am I thirsty.
% Fry heads for the refrigerator and takes out a fresh can of Slurm.
% After taking only one sip of it, he drops the can and begins gasping
% for air. His friends rush to his attention, and Bender shines the
% F-Ray on Fry's neck, revealing a bottle cap wedged in his throat with
% the words "You Win!" printed on it. Fry tries to cheer, but
collapses
% unconscious on the floor.
% End of Act Two (5:14)
% The entire Planet Express crew flies to Wormulon, a planet around
% which a ring of colored gas is arranged to spell the Slurm logo, and
% on which lies the famous Slurm Bottling Plant. Outside this factory
% is where the ship lands, and the crew is presented at once with a
% blast of music from two trumpet-weilding slugs. An iron gate opens
up
% and a snappily dressed slug enters on a red carpet, to the crew's
% appreciable murmurs.
Glermo: Welcome to the planet Wormulon! I'm Glermo your gollyrific
guide to the splentacular Slurm factory.
Fry: Uh-huh. Can we have our free Slurm now?
Glermo: You'll have all the Slurm you can drink later on when you're
partying with my good friend Slurms McKenzie.
% Slurms appears a few feet behind Glermo on the red carpet, with his
% two bikini-clad henchbabes by his side. The moment he appears, some
% rock music plays from out of nowhere, and he slides over to the crew.
Slurms: All right! Whimmy Wham-Wham Wozzle. Lay some skin on me,
dudes.
[Fry and Bender give him low-fives]
Bender: Wow. The original party-worm. Are you ready to get down, get
funky with us?
Glermo: He'd better be. That's what we pay him for, right, Slurms?
Slurms: [nervous] Right!
Glermo: In fact, Slurms has to party all night, every night or he's
fired.
Slurms: Rock on.
Glermo: But before the party you're all in for a funderful treat. A
VIP tour of the Slurm factory.
[Glermo leads them through the iron gates]
Slurms: Enjoy the tour, dudes. [to the guards] I'm gonna go lie
down.
% Glermo and the crew occupy a small elevator-like room as he welcomes
% them to the wonderful world of whimsy that they like to call "Slurm
% Centralized Industrial Fabrication Unit." The doors open up to
reveal
% a brightly lit universe full of foliage and magical scenery, with an
% orange river running down the center. Slurm cans hang from trees and
% bushes and an old-fashioned steamboat awaits their arrival. A race
of
% horrible orange creatures, identified by Glermo as the Grunka-Lunkas,
% are enduring hard labor over on the far end of the river. The crew
% set sail on the steamboat. Glermo narrates their tour, showing them
% attractions such as the "mixologists" and the Glacial Spring
Water
% Generator. When they come to the spot where the Grunka-Lunkas are
% said to add "the secret ingredient that makes Slurm so deliciously
% addictive," the workers promptly and suspiciously hide themselves
and
% their work behind a red curtain.
Fry: So what's the secret ingredient?
Glermo: It's whatever your imagination wants it to be.
Fry: Oh. Well what is it, really?
Glermo: [ominiously] That's not for you to know. Now, over here, the
Grunka-Lunkas are inducing wumpus berries to release their
flavor using sensual massage.
Bender: Pst. Those berries. Those are the secret ingredient, right?
Glermo: No.
Bender: You positive?
Glermo: Yes.
Bender: I'm just asking 'cause they look kind of secret.
Glermo: Enough! There will be no further questions.
Fry: Why?
Leela: Hey, look. The disgusting little men are starting to sing.
% The Grunka-Lunkas join together and begin their rigid song-and-dance:
Grunka Lunka Dunkity Doo
We've got a friendly warning for you
Grunka Lunka Dunkity Dasis
The secret to Slurm's on a need-to-know basis
Asking questions in school is a great way to learn
If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke
We once found a dead guy face-down in the Slurm
It could easily happen again to you folks
So keep your head down and keep your mouth shut
Grunka Lunka Lunka Dunkity Dutt
% Glermo yells at the Grunka-Lunkas for singing on the job. Later in
% the tour they pass a bearded slug with a wine-glass full of Slurm in
% his hand who Glermo calls "the Slurm Master checking the Slurm
for
% color and bouquet." Seeing the Master taking sip after sip of
Slurm
% reminds Fry how thirsty he is.
Fry: Uh, could I have some Slurm, please?
Glermo: No food or drink on the tour. You'll have to wait till
you're partying with Slurms McKenzie.
Fry: When will that be?
Glermo: Soon enough.
Fry: That's not soon enough.
[Leela spots a guarded door on the left that says "Keep
Out."]
Leela: Hey, what's behind that door?
Glermo: Nothing.
Leela: Is it the secret ingredient?
G-Lunkas: [singing] Grunka Lunka Dunkity Dingredient
You should not ask about the secret ingredient
Bender: Okay, okay, we get the point.
Leela: I was just curious because of the armed guards.
G-Lunkas: Grunka Lunka Dunkity Darmed-Guards ...
Bender: Shut the hell up!
% Later, Fry sneaks around to the back of the ship, briefly overhearing
% a discussion between Hermes and Glermo about the Grunka-Lunkas, and
% then attempts to hang himself over the railing of the ship by his feet
% and drink upside-down from the river of Slurm, but he can't reach.
% Leela walks by and declines Fry's invitation to grab his feet and dunk
% his head in, so he decides to just drop head-first into the river.
% After he realizes he can't swim, Leela jumps in to rescue him. Bender
% joins them in the river, and all three are caught in a whirlpool,
% sucked underground and deposited via a metal pipe into a cavernous
% sewer, where the Slurm pours down a drain. Fry's sense of taste tells
% them that the Slurm from the river isn't real, and Leela devises that
% "There's something rotten on the planet Wormulon." This point
is
% reinforced by the doors ahead of them that say "Real Factory"
and
% "Fake Factory" (the latter of which turns out to be the same
door that
% said "Keep Out!" on the other side).
Leela: This all must have something to do with the secret ingredient.
Fry: My God! What if the secret ingredient is _people_?
Leela: No. There's already a soda like that. Soylent Cola.
Fry: Oh. How is it?
Leela: It varies from person to person.
% Meanwhile the tour, now consisting of just Amy, Farnsworth, Zoidberg
% and Hermes, has moved from the boat to a small little gift shop (the
% Slurmme Shoppe), where they sift through everything from porcelain
% Slurms McKenzie figurines to Slurm towels, hats and jackets. Dr.
% Zoidberg asks about special-sized t-shirts and Glermo notices that the
% group's headcount has decreased. He excuses himself from the shop,
% leaving a trail of sticky goo which Amy slips on. Underground, Fry,
% Leela and Bender narrowly avoid being spotted by a pair of watch-
% slugs, and stumble across a conveyor belt full of Slurm cans. The
% belt exits from a wall, next to a door marked "Slurm Production
% Chamber." Fry grabs a can of Slurm and drinks it down hurriedly.
Fry: Oh, yeah. I'm never going 12 minutes without a Slurm again.
Leela: It's the end of the line. This must be where they put in the
secret ingredient.
Fry: Whatever it is, it's even better fresh. [slurps some more]
Mmm. Still warm.
% Leela opens the door and they all gather around to see a huge,
% industrial-sized room, of which the most prominent feature is the 50-
% foot-long and generously fat slug whose rear end is hooked up to a
% funnel, where she squirts glob after glob of sticky green goo into an
% endless line of empty Slurm cans. Fry, Leela and Bender flinch and
% groan. Fry sips casually from his Slurm can, until Leela reminds him
% not to and he spits it out in disgust. He fills the void by sipping
% casually from his Slurm can, until Leela reminds him not to and he
% spits it out in disgust ...
% End of Act Three (7:32)
% The impact of their discovery is still sinking in as the crew watching
% the Slurm assembly line move on and on. When Fry casually takes a sip
% from his Slurm can for the third time, Leela smacks the can out of his
% hand and the sound it makes when it hits the floor alerts the Slurm
% Queen. She turns around in surprise, then abandons her post in order
% to squish the intruders with her tail. The three of them escape out
% the door seconds before being smashed to bits, and are chased through
% the corridors by a couple of ray-gun-weilding Wormulans until they
% somehow find themselves rushing back into the Slurm production
% chamber.
% Glermo greets them upon their return: "Well, my curious friends,
% you've learned the secret of Slurm. That concludes the portion of the
% tour where you stay alive!" Leela tries cutting him in half with
a
% spin-kick, but that only results in two smaller Glermos. They subdue
% her, while Fry and Bender are captured by more Wormulan guards.
Queen: Good work, Glermo. You have pleased your queen.
Glermo 1: Thank you, Your Majesty.
Glermo 2: Thanks, Ma'am.
Leela: How can you trick people into drinking something that comes
out of your behind? It's disgusting.
Queen: Is it? Honey comes from a bee's behind. Milk comes from
a
cow's behind. And have you ever used toothpaste?
Fry: Whose behind does that come from?
Queen: You don't want to know.
Bender: Look, we just came to party with Slurms McKenzie. By the
way, when is that scheduled?
Queen: Never!
Bender: Aww!
Queen: To the torture cave!
% In the torture cave, Bender is strapped to a conveyor belt along with
% other scrap metal approaching a Slurm-can-molding machine, Leela is
% hanging in the air by a harness above a pool of molten liquid, and Fry
% is idly watching from the side. The queen describes each person's
% punishment.
Queen: [to Bender] You, my metal friend, will have the honor of
becoming 174 Slurm cans.
Bender: Ah, this trip is turning into a big letdown.
Queen: [to Leela] As for you, you will be submerged in Royal
Slurm, which, in a matter of minutes, will turn you into a
Slurm Queen like myself.
Glermo 2: But, Your Highness, she's a commoner. Her Slurm will taste
foul.
Queen: Yes! Which is why we'll market it as "New Slurm."
Then,
when everyone hates it, we'll bring back "Slurm Classic"
and
make billions.
[crazed laughter from all three slugs]
Fry: What about me?
Queen: You are free to go.
Fry: Yes!
Queen: If you can resist this Concentrated Superslurm.
% The Glermos seat Fry in front of a huge trough. Then, the Slurm Queen
% squeezes with all her might to fill the trough to the brim with a
% green goo. "It's so delicious, you'll eat until you explode,"
she
% says. A Glermo shoves a spoonful into Fry's mouth, and he's instantly
% addicted to it. The queen and her cohorts bid farewell to their
% doomed contest-winners and exit, leaving the lives of Bender and Leela
% in the hands of Fry, who is too distracted by his new dessert to help
% them. After a number of pleads fail to bring him to his senses, Fry
% decides to help them both by dragging the trough over to Leela and
% raising a lever with his foot, unlocking her harness, all the while
% stuffing his face with the Superslurm. Leela is now able to turn
% Bender's machine off -- but not before it punctures a hole clean
% through his torso. She then dumps the trough into the sewer and drags
% Fry out of the room with them, as he tries to gnaw his arms off in
% order to get past the sewer grate. In their mad escape through the
% underground caves, they run into Slurms McKenzie and his two
% henchbabes.
Slurms: Stop right there!
Bender: Slurms McKenzie!
Slurms: Shh! I want you to take me with you.
Fry: Say what?
Slurms: I'm partied out. All I want is to stay home and rent videos
and watch them with a few friends. Is that so much to ask?
Bender: Forget it, pal. It says on this bottle cap that you have to
party with us.
Slurms: Alright, when we get to Earth. But please, don't invite too
many people. I want to keep it small.
Bender: No can do, Slurms.
% The Slurm Queen surprises them, crashing through a nearby wall, and
% Slurms leads them through a cave-in area on the side wall to run away.
% As the Queen gains, Slurms begs his friends to go on without him. He
% explains that he's tired of partying, and promises to save them the
% only way he knows how ... by partying. After bidding farewell to his
% babes, he blasts his trademark rock music and starts rocking so hard
% that the ceiling begins to fall away. His last words to his departing
% friends are "Party on, contest winners!" ... and he's finally
buried
% by his own jam-session. The music breaks down and the Slurm Queen
% runs into an immovable barrier of rocks. She gives up and whimpers
to
% the Glermos that her company is ruined because "They know our
% disgusting secret." She calms herself by nursing on her own Slurm.
% The Planet Express ship finally escapes Wormulon's atmosphere and
% Professor Farnsworth makes an emergency videophone call from the ship
% to the "Bureau of Soft Drinks, Tobacco and Firearms."
Prof.: Commissioner, my crew has made a horrific discovery. It
seems that Slurm is produced in a colossal worm heinie.
Comm.: Hmm. "Heinie," you say? Why, with your testimony
we'll
finally be able to outlaw this insidious Slurm.
Fry: Outlaw Slurm?! [Fry takes the phone] Uh, don't pay any
attention to him, sir. Grandpa's making up crazy stories
again.
Prof.: I'm not your grandpa. You're my uncle. From the year 2000!
[Fry makes some "he's crazy" hand-motions]
Comm.: Okay, grandpa, we'll take care of the bad worms. Don't you
worry.
[he hangs up; Fry breaks into a Slurm]
Fry: Ah, I just wish Slurms McKenzie were here to enjoy this with
me.
Bender: Yeah, that Slurms sure loved to party. What do you say we
all party one last time for him?
Leela: For Slurms.
[they toast their Slurm cans]
All: For Slurms.
Zoidberg: Whammy Wozzle.
% Slurms' rock music begins again, and his two babes walk in the center
% of the cockpit to dance. Bender slurps down his Slurm and contends
% that it doesn't taste that bad ... meanwhile, Fry is on the floor
% slurping down the excess Slurm that's pouring out of the hole in
% Bender's torso.
% Roll Credits (7:08)
========================================================================
= Contributers =
{da} David Antonoff {jk} Joe Klemm
{ddg} Don Del Grande {mp} Mark Poyser
{dj3} Doug Jacobson {rb} Rich Bunnell
{dt} Daniel Tropea {sh3} Scott Hiland
{es} Eric Sansoni {sof} Sean O'Flaherty
{hl} Haynes Lee {th2} Tim Harrod
{jb} Jason Barrera {woh} Will O'Hargan
========================================================================
Honey comes from a bee's behind, lawyers = First uploaded: 12-Dec-1999
come from a bull's behind and this capsule = Revision A : 12-Dec-1999
comes from Jordan Eisenberg's behind. = E-mail me: <jedraw@aol.com>
|