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============= THE FUTURAMA CHRONICLES ==== EPISODE CAPSULE =============
========================================================================
Official Title: Fear of a Bot Planet
Episode Number: 1ACV05 (#5)
First Airdate : Tuesday, April 21st, 1999 (8:30 PM)
Written by : Evan Gore & Heather Lombard
Co-directed by: Ashley Lenz & Chris Suave
Directed by : Peter Avanzino & Carlos Baeze
========================================================================
= Additional tidbits =
Opening theme promotion : featuring
GRATUITOUS ALIEN
NUDITY
Opening theme cartoon : "A Corny Concerto" (1943,
Warner Bros.) {dga}
Subsequent Fox Airdates : 19-Sep-99
21-Apr-99 Nielsen ranking: 3rd in its timeslot (6.7 million) {dga}
19-Sep-99 Nielsen ranking: 5.2% of audience (#64 for the week)
MPAA rating : TV-PG-V
Length minus commercials : [21:23]
========================================================================
= Foxworld Synopsis =
While delivering a package to a planet inhabited by robots, where
humans are killed instantly, Bender becomes intoxicated with the
robot lifestyle and must choose between becoming a celebrity of sorts
or saving his friends' lives.
========================================================================
= Minutiae =
- Leela probably didn't notice the impending mini-planet in the ship's
path because of her lack of depth perception. And Fry didn't because
he's just a dim bulb, so it all makes sense. :-)
- Dr. Zoidberg urinates through his chest. {vy}
- Apparently, the entire planet of Mars only has one Blernsball team.
(Well, maybe there's just a small settlement there, just as Moon has
the amusement park and some isolated farms.) {ddg}
- Blernsball has the umpire behind an 'external' chest protector, like
the American league did a while back. (Since then they all use the
National league 'inside' chest protector.) Anyway, it gave them the
opportunity to include some sort of plastic hemisphere to look
through in the game. {mp}
- In the Blernsball game, the batter was out when the fielder touched
second base while holding the ball. {ddg}
- When the New New York Yankee hit the blern, the Mars pitcher hung his
head in an incredibly dejected Charlie Brown-like manner. It was a
great touch. {bw}
- After the multi-ball aspect of Blernsball, it becomes clear that the
stadium has turned into a big pinball machine. {vy}
- Speaking of multiball, none of the "multiball" balls are
tethered.
{ddg}
- Only the second blernsman (the equivalent of 2nd base) gets knocked
over by the explosion as the guy on the hoverbike scoots by. {vy}
- Did anyone catch the 'Ralph Wiggum char' seen in "Space Pilot
3000"
in the background of Madison Cube Garden? {pm}
- One blernsball fan holds up a sign that says "GLORX 3:16."
(See
Random Comments)
- The planet Chapek 9. Karl Capek (the C should have a little upside-
down caret over it, and is pronounced 'ch') wrote the play "Rossum's
Universal Robots" in which he created the term "robot."
{sv} [The
word "robot" is derived from the Czech "robota"
meaning "heavy
labor." {dga}]
- Leela [needs] 2 or 3 minutes to figure out a plan ... which happens
to be about the same amount of time taken up by a commercial break.
{vy}
- Woolworths still exists in 3000. {jk}
- They have Woolworths, but they don't have Wal-Marts. {vy}
- The "human" in the robot movie had claws. {ddg}
- Leela would have needed the second eye for depth perception with the
3D glasses. {hl}
- Robots use money. {ah}
- Many robots have record players. Not only did Bender release his
music "Bender lets loose" only on record, but it went "gold"
before
the end of the episode! (It's nice to see record players are still
around in 3000!) {ah}
- When the robot blows the horn to signal "Let the Hunt Begin,"
it
makes the same sound as a Macintosh startup bell (not all Windows
users know that). {vy}
- How about the elder's eyes being the same colors as the iMacs? {amc}
- The robot elder to the far left (opposite "Jimmy") never
speaks.
- When they are partying, the metal barrel is carved to look like a
jack-o-lantern. {aa2}
- Did you notice the beer bottles used to make a Robanukah menorah?
{jk}
========================================================================
= Parallels to Science Fiction =
+ "Battlestar Galactica" (movie)
- Robots alerted to Leela and Fry's position sound the alarm in a
monotone voice similar to that of the Cylons in Battlestar
Galactica (either that, or the robots from Disney's "The Black
Hole"). {vy}
+ "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" (movie)
- I thought the whole elders thing was a pretty direct reference to
Beneath the Planet of the Apes ... am I pointing out the glaringly
obvious? {kh}
+ "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" (1978 movie)
- When the robot pointed and made the high pitched wail after
discovering that Leela was human, er, not a robot. {rs}
+ "Rossum's Universal Robots" (1920 play by Karel Capek)
- Planet Chapek 9 named after this Czech author, who created the word
"robot" for his play. {dga}
~ "The Star Diaries" (novel)
- It's the book released in US by Polish science fiction writer
Stanislaw Lem. One of the short stories is about Ijon Tichy, a
space traveller, who visits a planet of robots -- he has has to use
robot disguise, otherwise he'll be killed (these robots hate
humans). Ring a bell? {ac2}
+ "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope" (1977 movie)
- Hermes shows up in the form of a hologram, much like Princess Leia
in SW4. {vy}
+ "War of The Worlds" (movie)
- "In the end, it was this harmless sharp stick that brought this
terror to an end" or something like that, this is from memory
...)
{jb}
========================================================================
= Other References =
+ "Apple Computers" (commercial)
- The scene in which the robots of Chapek 9's "House of Justice"
yell
suggestions for unfreezing their judge is similar to an old Apple
commercial. See "Final Thoughts / Comments" for more details.
+ "Berzerk" (video game)
- When Leela and Frye are spotted, the robots say "Intruder Alert"
(and one more phrase, I think) from the classic video game Berzerk.
Which also features robots trying to kill humans. {jr}
- Not only that, but the robots who spoke these lines *look* just
like the robots in Berzerk! Tall blocky bipeds with wide dome
heads and eyes that can rotate 360 degrees around - more than a
coincidence. {sw}
+ "Fear of a Black Planet" (movie)
- Title: "Fear of a Bot Planet"
+ "I Was a Teenage Werewolf" (movie)
- There's one other movie playing (it's the first poster), "I
Was A
Teenage Human," which is a take off of the old horror film "I
Was A
Teenage Werewolf." Compare the poster in the show to the poster
for the original movie. {ds2}
(Found at <http://www.hillcity-comics.com/posters/poster119.htm>)
~ "Life in Hell" (Matt Groening comic strip)
- The rabbit that Bender pulls out of a hat in the picture that Leela
and Fry show to the robot construction looks a lot like the rabbit
in Matt Groening's comic strip, "Life in Hell." {sam}
+ Mark McGwire
- Miller's on a pace to hit 70 blerns, says Leela. Wonder if he's
trying to beat a similar record 1,000 years later.
+ "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (movie)
- The Pointed stick reference also to Monty Python? Combo with War
of the Worlds. {rs}
- The scene with the robot elders combines elements of the Knights
Who Say Ni & the Three-Headed Monster. The one elder at the
end
yelling "Silence!" in a high-pitched voice sounds a lot
like one of
the Knights who say Ni, and the prisoners being allowed to escape
while their captors bicker pointlessly is just like the Three-
Headed Monster scene. {ms}
+ "Ol' Man River" (song)
- Bender's mocking of Leela copies the line "Tote that barge;
lift
that pale" from this song in the play "Showboat."
The song is sung
by slaves, so the line implies that Leela is a slave to her 'space-
job.'
~ "Omega Virus" (board game)
- ["Intruder Alert"] plays when you enter the room that contains
the
Virus. {tm}
+ "Robotron" (?)
- Same basic premise: you versus a planet o' robots. {jb}
+ "Shoeless" Joe Jackson
- "Wireless" Joe Jackson. {jk}
~ "Sleeper" (Woody Allen movie)
- Mechanical puppy. {hl}
+ "Tetris" (video game)
- The tasks assigned to Chapek 9's "Robots at Work" are quite
similar
to the simplistic, yet widely popular and much-imitated video game
"Tetris."
+ "TransFormers" (franchise)
- Obviously for the two guards that ask the multiple choice question
to Leela and Fry. {vy}
~ "Tron" (movie)
- Watch the movie, and you'll see those were very similar to the
guardians ... {ms2}
+ Uncle Sam posters
- The "I Want You Out" poster on Chapek 9. {dj}
========================================================================
= Freeze Frame Fanaticism =
>> Madison Cube Garden teams
- NEW NEW YORK YANKEES
- MARS GREENSKINS
>> Leela's program lineup
VISITORS
Karis
Adler
Horsted
Verrone
Keeler
Buras
Cohen
Kaplan
Morton
YANKEES
Costanza
Maris
Zork
Zork Jr.
Qzdjyld {bm3}
Lombard
Gore
Raspberry
Jones With Clemens Arm {bm3}
(See "Final Thoughts / Comments" for explanations of these
names.)
>> The slurm sign in the baseball sequence {ah}
It says underneath the main sign thusly - "Unaturally Delicious"
(I
have a zero overscan T.V. - you can see it too if you turn the vert
height down.)
>> Some Chapek 9 eye candy
- I WANT YOU
for the
ANTI-HUMAN
PATROL
- GOT MILK?
then you're a human and
must be killed
>> Movie posters outside the theater
- I Was A Teenage Human!
- Yentiltron
- Buff Bot: The Human Slayer
- It Came From Planet Earth
========================================================================
= Goofs =
- The mini-planet would have to have been moving very quickly in the
same direction as the ship, only at a slightly slower pace, because
otherwise their ship would have to be moving through space at about
5mph, and that's just ridiculous.
- Pigeons have supposedly been wiped out by owls in New New York City,
but one appears in plain daylight to attack Hermes' hologram.
- A bird flies in Madison Cube Garden, whilst it's a dome. {bd}
- Why would an all-robot planet order something through the Earth-based
(and human-operated) Planet Express?
- How much more vacuum-defying can we take? What is this? Space
Cases? {pm}
- The metallic tubes Leela wears on her arms change shape a number of
times as she gestures with her hands. (Unless you want to say it's
made of a new "futuristic" metal.)
- It's been mentioned quite a few times that when the robots discovered
Fry and Leela were human, they said "Get the humanoid" in
true
"Berzerk" (ah, the days when it only costs one quarter to
play a new
video game, and the "ones in the back" gave 2 games for a
quarter),
but why wouldn't they say "get the humans" if it's humans
they hate?
("Because it's not a joke any more, is it?") {ddg}
- How did Fry and Leela get inside the movie theater without paying?
(Do you think robots use the same currency that we do?)
- In the sequence with the mayor robot (behind the podium) the
microphone is missing! The "goose neck" holder is there,
but it just
ends ... (Come to think of it, why would robots need a P.A. system?!)
{ah}
========================================================================
= Extended Goofs / Technical Nitpicks =
>> What, no metric time?
Don Del Grande: Chapek 9 uses a time system of 60 minutes per hour (or
60 whatever they call the number on the right per whatever they call
the number on the left), just like on Earth. (They also used the
term "five o'clock", so maybe the "founders" used
Earth's time
system; it was never specified how many hours were in a day.)
Aaron Howald: Was I the only one to think that the clock in the robot
city should have shown the time in binary code?! One big 32 bit
number representing the time ... 10110110111011011011101100000101!!!!
One day would be all 0's to all 1's.
>> What Would You Like to Plead Today?
Tyler McHenry: Aside from the Mac startup sound made by the trumpet,
the Judge computer was obviously a Mac, thus the goof: CTRL-ALT-DEL
does _not_ work on a Mac, considering that they don't even have ALT
keys!
Ben Collins: The Mac has equivalent key combinations. To "force
quit"
a crashed program, hold the Command and Option keys (both unique to
the Mac; the Command key is often inaccurately called the Apple key)
and press the otherwise useless Escape key. To restart the computer
after a system freeze, either press the Restart switch (not on all
models), or hold Command and Control (there is a Control key) and
press the power switch. At least that's how it's done in Mac OS 7;
it may be different for MOS 8.
Daniel Kapusta: The "judging" progress thing was Mac-like,
but the
enclosure was a Macintosh Classic case. It's funny that after 1k
years, enclosures haven't made much progress.
Jason Barrera: I still say that the robots were too lazy to upgrade
their computer systems in 1016 years. Those little Mac Classics are
damn durable.
Joshua Moore: Actually, I think it was a 128k or 512k. They were the
only Macintoshes to sport the notched area around the floppy like the
Judge had.
But, really, even in real life, when a computer is indisputably
Macintosh, there's always someone in a crowded room who will suggest
"CTRL-ALT-DEL." :-)
>> Slow down, you're rockin' the ship
Don Del Grande: The ship managed to maintain a synchronous orbit (one
where it is over the same spot on the planet the entire time) despite
the fact that there was nobody inside of it to make adjustments.
Steven Aaron Monroe: This isn't impossible at all. Satellites can do
geosynchronous orbits without human intervention, so we can assume
that a spaceship from the year 3000 is able to do the same task, that
is, if Leela or Fry commanded the ship to do it.
========================================================================
= Reviews =
Dale G. Abersold: The show keeps getting better and better. True,
"best episode ever" is a phrase that doesn't carry a lot
of weight
when only five episodes have aired, but still ... "Best Episode
Ever." The show is instantly one of the best-written programs
on
television, with a wonderful combination of obscure references and
more obvious, even scatological gags. I thought "Fear of a Bot
Planet" was a true classic. (A+)
Jason Barrera: First off, I'd like to say that this was undoubtably the
funniest episode I've seen. Bender wasn't just the uncaring bucket
of bolts, either, and it really developed him past mere comic relief
-- although not enough that he still wasn't Bender. Whoever wrote
this episode had/has to be quite a nerd -- and I welcome this brave
soul into the flock. (A+)
Joe Klemm: If you wonder why Futurama will be back for the 1999-2000
season, this is why. A good storyline mixed with funny jokes and
meta-humor (if they only created a talking Bender doll) is what Matt
needs to make another hit show, and this episode contains the
hilarity of a good story, but it's not as funny as The Series Has
Landed. (A-)
Haynes Lee: Kind of a dissapointment. Bender's comedic hatred of
humans turns too dark. Tonight's episode should have featured more
of the secondary characters. What happened to Nibbler? (B-)
Paul Melnyk: And people were saying "Family Guy" tried too
hard. The
"futuristic" adaptations dialouge at the baseball stadium
wasn't
really that funny. The hot dog joke had me laughing though. The
second and third act turned out be good ones. Fry was characterized
pretty good, once again, thank god. Bender's anger spree was a bit
tacked on, but other then that, a good episode. Leela in handcuffs
also boosts the grade (don't ask). (A)
Vince Yim: While not as funny as the last, it is still a good effort.
Some of the references seem a bit forced, but the early Star Wars 4:
A New Hope hologram thing really caught me off guard, especially when
they show what really happens to Hermes. (B)
Yours Truly: This episode takes the entire standard for the series up
a
notch. With moments of brilliance like the ones seen time after time
here, there may be no stopping this show. (A+)
Average Grade: [14/7=2] (A)
========================================================================
= Final Thoughts / Comments =
>> Pfft. Cartoons.
Joe Klemm: A Corny Concerto is a Warner Bros. short that was made to
spoof the success of Disney's Fantasia. In it, Elmer Fudd introduces
comical bits set to the music of Tales of the Vienna Woods and the
Blue Danube. The clip that appears on the TV screen at the opening
is from the Vienna Woods bit, which features Porky Pig hunting for
Bugs Bunny. As for the clip, it comes when Bugs tricks Porky and his
hunting dog into thinking that a squirrel shot him when in reality
he
has just put on a bra.
>> Take me out to the Blernsball game
Dave Antonoff says the man holding the GLORX 3:16 sign was "a nice
reference to "Rock'n" Rollen Stewart, the "rainbow wig
guy" seen at
hundreds of sporting events from 1976 to the late 1980's."
He posts the results of a quick search of the web, written by Cecil
Adams:
"In 1976, looking for a way to make his mark, Rollen conceived
the
idea of becoming famous by constantly popping up in the background
of
televised sporting events. Wearing a multicolored Afro wig (hence
the nickname "Rainbow Man"), he'd carry a battery-powered
TV to keep
track of the cameras, wait for his moment, then jump into the frame,
grinning and giving the thumbs-up. Rollen figured he'd be able to
parlay his underground (OK, background) celebrity into a few
lucrative TV gigs and retire rich. But except for one Budweiser
commercial, it didn't happen.
Feeling depressed after the 1980 Super Bowl, he began watching a
preacher on the TV in his hotel room and found Jesus. He began
showing up at TV events wearing T-shirts emblazoned with "Jesus
Saves"-type slogans and various Bible citations, most frequently
John
3:16 ("For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten
Son," etc.). Later accompanied by his wife, a fellow Christian
he
married in the mid-80s, he spent all his time traveling to sports
events around the country, lived in his car, and subsisted on savings
and donations. He guesses he was seen at more than a thousand events
all told.
This brings us to the late 80s. By now Rollen had gotten his 15
minutes of fame and was the target of increasing harassment by TV and
stadium officials. His wife left him, saying he had choked her
because she held up a sign in the wrong location. His car was
totaled by a drunk driver, his money ran out, and he wound up
homeless in LA. Increasingly convinced that the end was near, Rollen
decided to create a radically different media character. He set off
a string of bombs in a church, a Christian bookstore, a newspaper
office, and several other locations. Meanwhile he sent out
apocalyptic letters that included a hit list of preachers, signing
the letters "the Antichrist." Rollen says he wanted to call
attention to the Christian message, and while this may seem like a
sick way to go about it, it wasn't much weirder than waving signs in
the end zone at football games. In any case, no one was hurt in the
bombings, which mostly involved stink bombs.
On September 22, 1992, believing the Rapture was only six days away
and having prepared himself by watching TV for 18 hours a day,
Stewart began his last "presentation." Posing as a contractor,
he
picked up two day laborers in downtown LA, then drove to an airport
hotel. Taking the men up to a room, he unexpectedly walked in on a
chambermaid. In the confusion that followed he drew a gun, the two
men escaped, and the maid locked herself in the bathroom. The police
surrounded the joint, and Rollen demanded a three-hour press
conference, hoping to make his last national splash. He didn't get
it. After a nine-hour siege the cops threw in a concussion grenade,
kicked down the door, and dragged him away.
About to be given three life sentences for kidnapping, Rollen threw
a
tantrum in the courtroom and now blames everything on a society
that's "bigoted toward Jesus Christ." A cop who negotiated
with him
by phone during the hotel standoff had a better take on it: "With
all
due respect, maybe you look at a little bit too much TV." For
info
on the Rainbow Man documentary, write Sam Green, 2437 Peralta St.,
suite C, Oakland, CA 94607."
Don Del Grande: Aluminum bats are "traditional" in baseball;
as far as
I know, the only organization that does not allow it is USA's major
leagues (and associated minor league systems). I think USA is also
the only country where professional baseball players don't compete
on
the Olympic team - I wonder what would happen if McGwire would show
up in Sydney with a metal bat?
Benjamin Robinson: While I was watching it, I thought about what some
former baseball commissioner called the "Rip Van Winkle"
rule. He
(the commish) wanted to keep baseball true to its roots so that
someone who woke up today from a hundred-year sleep could attend a
baseball game today and get the gist of what was going on. Looks
like blernsball flunked the Rip Van Winkle rule big time.
Aaron Howald: During the baseball sequence, the bird in the
communicator sequence should have been an owl!! More owls should
have been seen grubbing around on the field ... one of the two hit
balls should have stuck an owl out of the air as it was flying by ...
after the hit Leela could have marked her score card. The card could
have even had an "owl" symbol on it to keep track of the
"hits." :*)
>> Some call it "Antenna Envy"
Vince Yim: Remember ep 3 where Bender can't cut off his antenna because
it's like symbolically castrating himself? This is further enforced
by the fact that Leela can't understand why he can't do so because
"She's not a robot or a man."
After cutting off his antenna, Bender says, "I guess I'll have
to
deal with being half a robot." Then, when the robot cop finds
the
antenna, he responds with, "You call THIS an antenna?" You
don't
have to be Freud to figure out what the antenna symbolizes.
Anywho, in 1ACV05, after Bender produces a cardboard bucket full of
popcorn, he asks "Who wants butter?" And he lowers the bucket
of
popcorn to his lower torso area and starts pumping the antenna.
I dunno ... am I really sick for thinking this? Or did anybody else
notice?
>> Leela's scorecard
In the "Freeze Frame Fanaticism" section, you can see a list
of the
players on Leela's scorecard during the Blernsball game. Here are
some explanations on the names depicted on the card:
Dan Taylor: Raspberry is, more than likely, a dig at Daryl Strawberry.
Who, when not being arrested for various crimes are battling cancer,
has been know to play baseball with the Yankess, among other teams.
Chris Tasler: "Maris" is obviously a nod of the hat to Yankees
great
Roger Maris, who was the single season homer king with 62 in a year,
until Mark McGwire topped it last year with 70. Apparently one of
the writers is a Yankees fan ... Just thought I'd throw in my two
cents.
According to James Brown, the names Verrone and Morton come from
producers Patric Verrone and Lewis Morton, Horsted and Keeler are
co-executive producers Eric Horsted and Ken Keeler, and Lombard and
Gore are writers Heather Lombard and Evan Gore (who wrote this
episode). "Jones with Clemens Arm" is an obvious reference
to Roger
Clemens (who's Jones?), Cohen is executive producer David Cohen, and
a contributor named Broke Man tells us that there is a famous player
named Costanza. "Zork" is a reference to a videogame franchise
of
the same name, and pairing him with "Zork Jr." is a reference
to Ken
Griffey Jr.
That leaves five names unexplained ... Karis, Adler, Buras, Kaplan
and Qzdjyld. Here are some theories, as well as some alternatives
to
the ones above ...
= Kaplan =
Brad Koski: I was thinking -- could this possibly be a reference to Ira
Kaplan, guitar player and singer from yo la tengo? YLT did do the
Simpsons theme recently, and they are self-professed *HUGE* fans of
the show. Just something to think about ...
= Costanza =
David Antonoff: A reference to "Seinfeld"'s George Costanza,
who once
worked for the old New York Yankees.
= Maris =
Daniel Janes: The name of Niles' never-seen wife on the TV show
"Frasier."
If you have any other explanations, feel free to submit them!
>> 'Rama's Universal References
Javier Redal expands on a hidden reference: "Chapek 9" would
be named
after Karel Capek (sometimes I saw writen as "Chapek", these
Slavic
consonants):
"Karel Capek, (1890-1938), Czech novelist, playwright, and theatrical
producer, born in Malé Svatonovice, and educated at the University
of
Prague. Capek was a close friend of the first Czech president, Tomas
Masaryk, with whom he worked to preserve the Czech nation after World
War I. Simultaneously Capek was an editor for a Prague newspaper,
founder and director of the Vinohradsky Art Theater in Prague, and
political essayist, playwright, and novelist.
Capek is best known for his plays, the most famous of which is R.U.R.
(1921; trans. 1923), a dramatic fantasy in which people are
dehumanized by the machine age. R.U.R. stands for "Rossum's
Universal Robots" and is the source of the English word robot.
Capek
is also well known for two other dramas: The Insect Play (1921;
trans. 1923), known in the U.S. as The World We Live In, a satire
that foretells the evils of totalitarianism; and Power and Glory
(1937; trans. 1938), an attack on dictatorship. His novels include
fanciful romances, science fiction, and a philosophical trilogy.
Capek also wrote travel sketches and impassioned political essays."
"Capek, Karel," Microsoft (R) Encarta. Copyright (c) 1998
Microsoft
Corporation. Copyright (c) 1998 Funk & Wagnall's Corporation.
>> Robots: The Quintessential Culture Clash
Jason Barrera: Speaking of depth, "Fear of A Robot Planet"
worked on a
slightly higher level in that it parodied the entire Cold War in 22
minutes or so. The paranioa, the "elders" working behind
the scenes,
the blind hatred of the opposition, the insanely campy propoganda
films, and we can't forget the Show Trails ...
The robot movies reminded me of the Soviet propoganda films during
the height of the Cold War, when Russian people almost believed that
all Americans wanted to kill them and rape their dead daughters.
Bender as Hitler/Stalin was a nice touch.
Jeff Foster: The episode "Fear of a Bot Planet" has many references,
not to specific films or songs, but to general aspects of African
American culture. The title is from an album by rap group "Public
Enemy." Bender's complaints at the blernsball game, about there
being no robot managers and about how only robots ever have to do
janitorial work, are references to long-standing similar complaints
in the black community. The radical robot separatists echo the
radical black separatists in the Nation of Islam, who were active
from the time of the NOI's founding to the time a group of orthodox
Muslims split off from it in the 1970s. It would have been more
funny if the robots had said "Kill humey!" instead of "Kill
the
humanoids!"; since "Kill whitey!" is an acceptable phrase
but "Kill
the Caucasians!" is not.
>> Post it to <alt.tv.futurama>! Put it in the capsule!
Hurry!
Daniel L. Dreibelbis: In the scene where Leela and Fry were being tried
by the Mac Plus judge, and he froze in the middle of judgement, the
robots and Fry started yelling out ways to unfreeze him. ("Yank
the
cord! Type alt-control-delete!")
Well, as it so happens, I recently bought myself a Mac, and was
finally looking at this CD-ROM called the "1997 Mac Advocacy CD-ROM."
On it was a series of commercials Apple had done over the years for
the Macintosh. One of the commercials featured a man at some
convention making a presentation using a PC laptop when -- sure
enough -- it suddenly freezes. And then everyone in the audience
starts yelling out different ways to unfreeze it!
I found this to be too much of a coincidence to let this pass by.
What do you all think?
David Antonoff: I wouldn't say it was a coincidence. I think it would
be the natural tendency for a group of computer savvy people (or
robots) to offer up whatever options they could think of in a time
of
computer crisis. If anything, the scene from the episode mimicked
real life. No great coincidence, but a good read on the
technologically advanced segment of society.
>> Last, and probably least ...
Tukeli Baykent: When Leela and Fry first set foot on Chapek 9, Fry
looks into Leela's helmet and mentions how stupid they look. This
is
probably stretching things too far, but the reflection in Leela's
helmet sort of looks like those characters in many Canadian animated
shorts ... again, I'm probably digging too deep. =)
========================================================================
= Fun Stuff =
>> Alien Language #1 sightings
TV Guide ad (not in actual episode): "ROBOTS RULE"
>> References to Previous Episodes
- [1ACV01] Fry's line "My God, it's the future!" cf. "My
God, he's
become evil!"
- [1ACV01] Bender doll says Bender's first words {pm}
- [1ACV02] Leela has to convince Fry that something he likes is
actually boring (the moon cf. baseball)
- [1ACV03] Kill All Humans {hl}
>> Fan-made Alternate Titles for this Episode
"Bite My Shiny Metal Planet" {ds}
"Get Bender"
"Night of Bender" {jk}
"Planet of the Bots" {hl}
========================================================================
= Voice Credits =
>> Starring
Billy West ..................... Fry, Professor Farnsworth, Zoidberg,
food stand man, Guard 2, "unscrew
our lugnuts," bailif, Elders
1 & 4,
"precious lugnuts!"
Katey Sagal ................................................... Leela
John DiMaggio ........................ Bender, "human," Tetris
worker
>> Guest Starring
Tress MacNeille .................................. Wendy, woman robot
Phil LaMarr .................................................. Hermes
Maurice LaMarche ................... Guard 1, Robot DJ, "even
in your
movie theaters!", Judge,
Elder 2
Dave Herman ..................... Rusty, crummy-looking robot, Mayor,
Elder
3
Tom Kenny ...................... Nosy Robot, "Hooray for the humans!"
Unknown ......................................... 2 moviegoing robots
= Quotes and Scene Summaries =
% In space, the Planet Express ship flies its course. It's dark in the
% cockpit as Fry and Leela stare out the windsheild at the passing
% kaleidescope of stars. A ringed planet is far ahead of them in the
% distance, but they seem to be catching up slowly.
Leela: What do you think of the view, Fry?
Fry: It really puts things in perspective. I mean, from up here an
entire world can seem utterly insignificant.
% It seems the aforementioned ringed planet is only about 10 inches in
% diameter. It splats onto the windshield like a bug. Leela turns on
% the windsheild wipers, and all it does is smear the goo to both sides.
% End of Act One (0:15)
% In the fantastic NNYC arena, "Madison Cube Garden," the traditional
% baseball organ music plays and the teams take their places on the
% diamond. Some members of the PE crew are sitting in the bleachers
% (left to right: Zoidberg, Farnsworth, Leela, Fry, Bender) watching the
% action on field, only things are a little different than our average
% 20th century baseball game.
Bender: Hey, nice seats! We're close enough to when you knock a
player down with a beer bottle, he stays down.
Fry: I don't get this. Is "blernsball" exactly the same
as
baseball?
Prof.: Baseball? God forbid.
Leela: Face it, Fry, baseball was as boring as Mom and apple pie.
That's why they jazzed it up.
Fry: _Boring_? Baseball wasn't -- [pause] Hmm, so they finally
jazzed it up.
% [Editor's note: Sorry if some of the next scenes make little to no
% sense. They actually made close to the same amount of sense when
% viewed properly on the TV. Something tells me that was the point ...]
% The pitch is thrown, and the batter whacks it with gusto, but the ball
% is tethered to the pitcher's mound by a thin bungee-cord. (Fry is
% sure in for a surprise because he's already cheering the supposed
% home-run.) The cord snaps tight just as the ball reaches the
% outfield, and the outfielder that caught the ball in his glove is now
% being snapped back towards the diamond with it. On his flight across
% the stadium, he passes over one of the bases and lights it up by
% touching the ball to it. This is just when the runner is sliding onto
% the base.
Fry: [confused] What just happened? Why is the ball on that
sproingy thing?
Leela: It's traditional. Just like aluminum bats and the seventh
inning grope.
% The next outfielder who tries to catch a bungeeing ball ends up
% getting carried so high in the air that he's snapped away and tossed
% into the bleachers. He lands right in Bender's mit. Bender's
% thrilled that he got himself a souvenir, but he feels guilty when a
% little kid looks at him with puppy-dog eyes and gives the souvenir to
% the kid (who collapses under the weight).
% Elsewhere in the stadium, Dr. Zoidberg exits the Men's room. He zips
% up (the zipper being located on his chest!) and walks over to the man
% at the snack bar.
Zoidberg: I'd like a jumbo squid log, please.
Man: We don't sell those.
Zoidberg: Alright, alright, let me have one of your young on a roll.
Man: We're out of rolls.
Zoidberg: Fine, just give me something crawling with parasites.
% Dr. Zoidberg gets a hot dog. When he brings some for the rest of the
% crew, Fry comments "At least hot dogs haven't changed." Bender
offers
% popcorn to his buddies, and they all accept. He stands still for a
% moment as his motor whirrs, and out of his chest cavity pours some
% fresh popcorn. As he makes further offers for butter, he starts to
% pump on his antennae. Fry tries to make sense of the activity on the
% field.
Fry: Hey, I'm starting to get the hang of this game. The blerns are
loaded, the count's 3 blerns and two anti-blerns, and the
'infield blern' rule is in effect. Right?
Leela: Except for the word 'blern' that was complete gibberish.
% Back to the field. This time, the tethered ball zooms straight into
% the ground and lands in a concrete socket. Some huge screens around
% the stadium flash the words "BALL LOCKED" and men scream "Multi-ball!"
% Some devices rise from out of the ground all over the outfield and
% start pelting the infield with dozens of untethered balls. The losing
% team members slump their heads, and a man rides a motorcycle around
% the four bases, each of them exploding as he passes it. People yell
% "Blern!" at the top of their lungs, holding the note as long
as they
% can. A large door opens up on the side and a giant tarantula walks
% out, with people riding on top. Our heroes seem to know more about
% what's going on than _we_ do.
Leela: Alright, yes! Miller's on a pace to hit 70 blerns!
Prof.: He's good, alright, but he's no Clem Johnson. And Johnson
played back in the days before steroid injections were
mandatory.
Bender: Clem Johnson? That sack of skin wouldn't have lasted one
pitch in the old Robot Leagues. Now, Wireless Joe Jackson,
there was a blern-hitting machine.
Leela: Exactly. He was a machine designed to hit blerns. I mean,
come on, Wireless Joe was nothing but a programmable bat on
wheels.
Bender: Oh, and I suppose Pitch-O-Mat 5000 was just a modified
Howitzer?
Leela: Yep.
Bender: You know, you humans are so scared of a little robot
competition you won't even let us on the field.
Fry: What are you talking about? There's all kinds of robots down
there.
Bender: Yeah, doing crap work. They're bat boys, ball-polishers,
sprinkler systems ... but how many robot managers are there?
Fry: [thinks] Eleven?
Bender: Zero!
% Bender throws his liquor bottle on the ground in anger. From a little
% compartment in the aisle steps, a tiny disk-shaped robot with brooms
% and a dustpan sweeps up the broken glass and returns to hiding.
Bender: And, what a surprise, look who's scraping up the filth! Is
it
a _human_ child? I wish.
% Professor Farnsworth suddenly quivers with pain and grabs his chest
% tightly. His friends are concerned, and he struggles to explain that
% the pain is coming from ... his ... new pager. He takes out the pager
% and turns it on, projecting a small holographic image of Hermes on the
% ledge in front of them. Hermes disappoints them all by informing them
% that a package has just come in and they all must return to the office
% immediately.
% As the crew groans, a pigeon perches on the ledge next to Hermes'
% likeness. Hermes turn around and tries to shoo the bird away, while
% urging Farnsworth to turn off the pager. Farnsworth is a bit hard on
% hearing, though, so the pigeon has time to pick Hermes up in its beak
% and fly away with him. "See you at the office!" he yells
from high
% above. So as Bender, Leela and Fry wait in the PE meeting room,
% Bender is still arguing with them from across the table.
Bemder: Admit it, you all think robots are just machines built by
humans to make their lives easier.
Fry: Well, aren't they?
Bender: I've never made anyone's life easier and you know it.
[Farnsworth and Hermes enter]
Prof.: Great news, everyone! You'll be delivering a package to
Chapek 9, a world where humans are killed on sight.
Fry: Why is that great news?
Prof.: I'm glad you asked that question, Fry. You see, Chapek 9 was
colonized centuries ago by a murderous crew of radical robot
seperatists.
Bender: [sarcastic] Oh, so just 'cause a robot wants to kill humans,
that makes him a 'radical.' [he gestures quotation marks in
the air]
Leela: Hey, hold on. I understand these robots hate humans, but how
do they feel about humanoid aliens?
Prof.: They're not fans.
Hermes: That's why _Bender_ will have to make the actual delivery.
Bender: [sarcastic] Oh, I get it, make the robot do all the work!
Leela: This is the first actual work you've ever had to do around
here.
Bender: Well, I'm not doing it. It's a robot holiday.
Fry: Really, which one?
Bender: [rolls eyes] Only Robannukah, the holiest two weeks on the
robot calendar.
Leela: Oh, come on, Bender. Last month it was Robamadan, and before
that, Robanza.
Fry: Man, _that_ one was a blast.
Bender: It wasn't just a 'blast,' it was a sacred tribute to my
ancestral prototypes which happened to take the form of a
drinking contest!
Hermes: Now, look here, Bender, I respect your diversity to the extent
the law requires, but you used up all your days off when you
had that bout with roberculosis.
Bender: [apprehensively] Oh, alright, I'll go, but so help me, I'll
hold a grudge against every last stinkin' one of you for the
rest of your lives!
Prof.: Well, then, it's settled! So long, everyone.
% Blast-off into space. They're approaching Chapek 9 in the ship, and
% Fry questions Bender about their destination.
Fry: So let me get this straight. This planet is completely
uninhabited?
Bender: [slowly; impatiently] No, it's inhabited by _robots_!
Fry: Oh, kinda' like how a warehouse is inhabited by boxes.
% Bender mutters angrily to himself. As the ship hovers above the
% Chapek 9 surface, the crew move to the cargo bay to prepare for the
% delivery.
Leela: Okay, Bender, it's time to get to work.
Bender: [mocking her] Yes, Miz Leela, tote that space barge, lift
that space bale ...
Leela: Now, we can't land on the surface 'cause those robots would
kill Fry and me. So we'll have to stay up here and lower you
with the winch. Now, remember, you don't know humans, you
don't work for humans, and above all, you don't _like_ humans.
Bender: [sarcastic] I'll _try_ to keep that in mind.
% Bender is lowered down under the layer of clouds with the package, and
% they watch him go.
Leela: [to Fry] He seems pretty angry.
Fry: Yeah, but I guess I'd be pretty angry too if I had to go to
some uninhabited planet.
Leela: Maybe we oughta' do something nice for him.
% A little later, Bender is still out doing his job, and Fry and Leela
% have dressed up the cockpit with decorations celebrating Robannukah.
% As Leela comments on a job well done, a small monitor on the dashboard
% beeps, which should means Bender is done with the delivery.
% But apparently not. The monitor comes to life, and Bender is on the
% screen. He quickly tries to explain that he's in trouble, and that
% they found out he worked for humans, but before he can say anything
% else, some dark figures drag him away into the shadows and they loose
% the transmission.
Fry: Oh, my God! We have to go down and rescue him!
Leela: No, we can't. They'll kill us on sight!
Fry: Well, what are we gonna do?
Leela: I don't know. I don't know!! It's not an easy decision. If
only I had two or three minutes to think about it!
% End of Act Two (6:44)
% Back in the cargo bay, Leela and Fry are emptying old mettalic junk
% like sheet metal, pipes, pots, pans, etc. out of cardboard boxes and
% hanging them on their bodies in order to look like robots.
Leela: Okay, if we're gonna save Bender, we've got to look and act
exactly like robots.
Fry: [dead-pan] I am fully operational, captain.
Leela: We'll have to walk like robots, talk like robots and, if
necessarry, solve complex differential equations like robots.
% Fry says he can sorta' dance like a robot, and proudly displays his
% robot-dancing abilities to Leela, which are comprised mostly of just
% rigidly and periodically rotating his appendages (which are encased
in
% tubes of sheet metal). As he waits for approval, Leela explains to
% Fry that the situation is serious, but finishes her argument by
% showing Fry her own robot-dancing abilities. She introduces a "swim"
% motion to the dance as well.
% Both being fully operational, Fry and Leela are lowered on the winch
% as Bender was, leaving the ship hovering up in the clouds. The winch
% hits bottom, and they step off onto the desolate Chapek 9 surface.
% The atmosphere is very grey and gloomy, with what little plant life
% there is being just as forboding. Up ahead looks like the gate to an
% enormous walled city. Fry sees his reflection in the metal pot over
% Leela's head.
Fry: Man, we look stupid. We shoulda' gotten store-bought costumes.
Leela: Yeah, but there wasn't a Woolworths in this quadrant.
% They leave the winch right where they left it to approach the city
% and are stopped by two archaic robot guards who are about three times
% their height.
Guard 1: Halt! Be your robot or human?
Leela: Robot we be.
Fry: [mock cheerfulness] Uh, yep. Just two robots out robotting
it up.
% Fry reprises his robot dance for the guards and awaits a response.
% Guard 2 leans over to the first one and suggests they "administer
the
% test," so Guard 1 marches directly in front of our heroes and begins
% interrogating them.
Guard 1: Which of the following would you most prefer? A) a puppy,
B) a pretty flower from your sweetie, or C) a large,
properly formatted data file?
Guard 2: Choose!
% They huddle for a moment to whisper to each other, and Fry pops his
% head up to ask a question.
Fry: Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?
Guard 1: No, it is the bad kind of puppy.
Leela: Then we'll go with that data file.
Guard 1: Correct!
Guard 2: The flower would also have been acceptable.
Guard 1: You may pass.
% The guards fold themselves up until they become a pair of irregularly-
% shaped pillars and slide away from each other to clear a path into the
% city for Fry and Leela. As the two of them walk through the large
% corridors leading inward, they come to a cross-section and Leela warns
% Fry to stay out of the way of any robots. High above the cross-
% section, a digital display changes from 11:59 to 12:00, a loud buzz
is
% heard, a row of chambers all along the wall slides open and two swarms
% of robots comes charging at each other.
% They're able to weave around each other in a perfect criss-cross
% pattern as they go about their rat race, but Fry and Leela are caught
% in the middle and get plowed in different directions. When the
% display up above changes to 12:01, another buzz is heard, the robots
% clear out, return to the chambers in the wall, and once again leave
% the corridor silent until the confused humans yell to each other from
% opposite ends.
Leela: So far, so good!
% As we move further into the cityscape, we come upon some robot
% construction workers. They're walling up the end of an alleyway with
% brightly-colored blocks, dropping the blocks in one-by-one with a
% crane. Or, to put it another way, they're playing "Tetris."
Two
% humans dressed as robots walk by and show him a photograph (depicting
% Bender in a magicians' outfit, pulling a rabbit out of a hat), but he
% says he doesn't recognize the robot in question.
% In the wall they're building, there's a vertical line of four thin,
% empty squares going up the middle and the crane operater is about to
% drop the appropriately shaped piece into the gap. Despite the foreman
% pleading for him to stop, the piece is dropped and the four completed
% rows of blocks flicker away into thin air, while the blocks on top
% drop to the floor. The foreman moans in agony. Meanwhile, onward
% into the city corridors we march, but Fry is starting to "walk
like a
% robot" with a little less discipline.
Leela: Come on, Fry, walk like a robot.
Fry: I can't. I have to go to the bathroom.
Leela: Robots don't have bathrooms.
Fry: Oh, right. I wonder where they smoke in high school.
Leela: Listen, just go behind those garbage cans. I'll stand guard.
% Around the corner there are indeed some garbage cans. Fry unzips and
% begins humming while he relieves himself. Leela whispers at him to
% hurry up. A lone robot enters the scene, carrying a glue-gun-like
% device, parks himself across from Fry and inspects the situation.
Nosy Robot: Sir, are you aware that you're leaking coolant at an
alarming rate?
Fry: Uh ...
Nosy Robot: Well, let me just patch you up with some hot resin. [he
holds the gun up so Fry can see it]
Fry: I think the leak's stopping itself. [it doesn't]
Wait, wait ... [long pause] ... yeah, there we go. Wait
... there.
Nosy Robot: [accusing] What sort of robot turns down a free blast of
searing hot resin?
[Fry is stumped]
Leela: I'm sorry, my friend and I have to go perform some
mindless, repetitive tasks.
Nosy Robot: [chuckles] Sounds like a romantic evening. I won't keep
you.
% The robot finally leaves them alone, but on his way out, he raises
% some dust off of the ground and Leela coughs from it. The robot stops
% in his tracks, turns around, points threateningly at the humans, and
% emits an odd, mechanical sound from his mouth. Leela, in the heat of
% the moment, judo-kicks the robot down into the dirt, and they make
% their getaway. Almost immediately, a van marked "Human Patrol"
% enters, two robots jump out to inspect their fallen brother, and the
% words "intruder alert; stop the humanoid" echo throughout
the city via
% a PA system.
% Leela suggests that they duck inside a nearby movie theater, which
% according to the marquee is playing a movie called "It Came From
% Planet Earth." The theater is pretty crowded, but they find two
empty
% seats and we zoom in on a scene from the movie:
% A convertible is parked at the edge of a cliff overlooking a cityscape
% at night, surrounded by shrubs and bushes. A teenaged robot couple
% sit in the front seats (their names are Rusty and Wendy). Some eerie
% music plays softly over the dialogue, starting with a man's voice
% being heard on the car radio.
Radio: We interrupt this sound file to bring you a terrifying
announcement. A non-metallic being has been sighted in the
vicinity of Makeout Point.
[Rusty turns the radio off]
Rusty: Say, Wendy, your chassy is a little scuffed. Mind if I polish
it for you? [puts his arm around her]
[some rustling is heard from the bushes]
Wendy: Did you hear that, Rusty? It sounded like a human.
Rusty: Relax, Wendy. Humans will never come to our defenseless little
town. It's perfectly safe to let our guard down. Even for a
second.
% Just then, a human rises from the bushes and howls at them. The
% production values in this movie are so bad, though, that the human is
% merely a robot wearing a rubber face and hands, and to top it off, the
% costume hardly even fits right. He wavers back and forth making
% pathetic moaning noises, and then approaches the convertible. The
% non-metallic being reaches over, twists Rusty's head off, and pops it
% into his mouth. The robot inside the human costume slams his upper
% jaw up and down like a piston, which is supposed to simulate chewing,
% and the head is swallowed.
Human Robot: [melodramatic] I will eat and digest you all with my
system of mighty organs. Behold!
% The "human" swings open his chest cavity, and inside is a
mess of
% colorful intestines, lungs, kidneys and blood vessels. The inner wall
% of the cavity is lined with tiny yellow lightbulbs to make it extra-
% impressive. The audience gasps in unison, and we see all of them are
% wearing mid-20th-century-style 3-D glasses, including Fry and Leela.
Fry: Wow, the 3-D's great!
Leela: [struggling to align her glasses] Mine's not working!
% Back on the screen, the humanoid is flailing his limbs in the air
% because he's been stabbed in the back with a wooden spear. It seems
% to be early morning when he finally collapses to the floor at the feet
% of Wendy and a robot in military attire. The latter robot has the
% same voice as the one heard on the radio earlier.
Mil. Bot: Funny, isn't it? The human was impervious to our most
powerful magnetic fields, yet in the end, he succombed to
a
harmless sharpened stick. [chuckles triumphantly]
Wendy: I'm just glad the nightmare is over.
Mil. Bot: It'll never be over, Wendy. Even now, humans are lurking
in
our playgrounds, our breezeways, perhaps even ... our movie
theaters!
% The robot points directly at the camera, the music turns suspenseful,
% and the whole theater screams in horror. From off-screen, Fry yells
% "God, help us!" The movie is over, and everyone begins pouring
out
% the back door. We rejoin Fry and Leela outside, as a couple of other
% friendly-looking robots approach them.
Leela: [to Fry] Okay, keep an eye out for Bender.
Friendly Bot 1: So, what'd you think of the movie?
Fry: [thinks] Too much romance; not enough human killing.
Friendly Bot 2: Yeah, it was a real chick flick.
% A trumpet sounds in the distance, and Leela asks what it was. The
% robots seem shocked at her ignorance, but explain that it marks 5:00,
% the "time for the daily human hunt." As the robots start
to
% congregate in a wide-open area between three tall buildings, Leela
% turns to the side and whispers to Fry, but she doesn't realize that
% Fry is on the other side of her and she's actually talking to a
% scrawny-looking robot.
Leela: [whispering] Try to stay with the crowd so no one
notices how crumnmy you look.
Scrawny Robot: Aww, that was uncalled for.
Fry: I'm over here!
% The robots have are now all together, and a robot wearing a "Mayor"
% sash steps out onto a small platform halfway up the side of one
% building. He approaches the podium with a microphone, and prepares
to
% speak, while some of the robots below chatter amongst themselves.
Scared Bot 1: I heard a human was draining coolant behind garbage can
738.
Scared Bot 2: I heard they unscrew our lugnuts at night and eat them
at their human brunches.
Mayor: Welcome to a very special human hunt! We have with us today
a
guest whose irrational hatred for humans make _me_ look like
a
human sympathizer.
[the crowd laughs]
A newly arrived refugee from Earth, let's hear it for Bender!
% Bender, with a harsh and insensitive look on his face, steps out of
% the dark building and takes the Mayor's place at the podium. Fry and
% Leela are shocked to see him.
Fry: It's him. He's okay!
Bender: [triumphantly] Death to humans!
[crowd cheers]
Fry: [oblivious] Aww, it's good to hear his voice.
% End of Act Three (6:12)
% We're right where we left off, and Bender is beginning his speech to
% the robot masses below.
Bender: Many said I was too extreme when I first called for the
annihilation of the human species (as well as some of the more
cunning monkeys), but after living on Earth, I can tell you
that I am, if anything, too merciful!
[the crowd hollers in agreement]
Fry: My God, he's become evil! I mean ... eviler.
% Bender takes the opportunity to hype his new spoken word album,
% "Bender Lets Loose" (just $18.95) and holds up a copy. Act
now and
% you'll get a free Bender action figurine. Bender produces a sample,
% which is only a few inches high, and pulls the cord to hear the action
% figure say "Bite my shiny, metal ass." People in the crowd
hold up
% wads of money and Bender begins to pass out the merchandise.
% Meanwhile, the Mayor takes back the microphone to yell out "Let
the
% hunt begin!" A few robots run out on their own with a set of clubs
% and begin overturning rocks, while Bender leads his own pack of
% enthusiastic human-hunters and gives them advice.
Bender: Now, your basic human is between 3 and 25 feet tall, and
is made of a hairy, oily goo wrapped in a t-shirt.
Other Robot: Is true they bite your neck and suck your transmission
fluid, and then you become a human?
Bender: Sure, why not?
% The Mayor accompanies them, and Bender peeks through a wad of tall
% grass to see an oversized mouse-trap with "Free Butter" lying
in the
% center, and a sign advertising that fact.
Mayor: Anything in the trap?
Bender: Nothing. Today's active humans prefer a low-calorie bait.
Mayor: Well, that makes 146,000 unsuccessful hunts in a row ... but
I've got a good feeling about tomorrow.
% Bender spots a run-down building not too far away, which has XXX
% written in big letters across the front.
Bender: Wait, what's that?
Mayor: That's the old, abandoned adult book store. Nothing in there
except maybe a few shreds of moldy, old robot pornography.
Bender: [excited] Sounds like a breeding ground for humans. I'd
better check it out.
% Bender is now alone in the store, except for the piles of indecent
% robot magazines and a few dusty, overturned bookshelves. Bender is
% lusting over a particular magazine foldout, which is actually just a
% map of circuit diagrams. Fry and Leela sneak in the front door, and
% he quickly stuffs the magazine into his chest cavity when he sees
% them.
Bender: [worried] You! What the hell are you doing here?
Fry: We've been looking for you. Last we heard, you were under
arrest as a human sympathizer.
Bender: I was, but they let me go when I told them I killed a million,
billion humans.
Leela: Good for you. Now, let's all get back to the ship.
Bender: What for?
Fry: We're rescuing you.
Bender: I don't want to be rescued.
Fry: Say what?
Bender: I love this planet. I've got wealth, fame and access to the
depths of sleaze that those things bring.
Fry: But Bender, we're your friends!
Bender: [rolls eyes] Friends?! _That_ activates my hilarity unit.
I'm just a machine to you. You're no more friends with my
than you are with the toaster or the phonograph or the
electric chair.
Fry: That's not true.
Bender: Well, that's how it feels to me.
% Bender turns around and folds his arms, and they exchange their
% silence. Fry puts his arm on Bender's shoulder to say goodbye. Just
% as Bender warns them to leave before they're caught, Bender's loyal
% crew of human-hating robots fills up the room to inform him that his
% album just went gold. They're all shocked to see a pair of humans
% standing right before their eyes, and beg for Bender to do something.
% So he grabs one of his friends with each arm.
Bender: [nervous; incinsere] Uh, got ya, you murderous flesh piles.
% After that awkward moment, the matters are taken to the huge, white
% Hall of Justice, where Fry and Leela are sitting, hand-cuffed, in a
% cage in the corner, and even though he sits atop the traditional
% podium, the Judge is just a face on a computer screen. The Mayor
% seems to be acting as a lawyer too.
Mayor: Your honor, I intend to demonstrate beyond 0.5% of a doubt that
these humans before us are guilty of the crime of being humans.
Come to think of it ... I rest my case!
Judge: Thank you, prosecutor. I will now consider the evidence.
% On the Judge's screen appears a Windows-type progress bar that says
% "Judging ..."
Fry: Hey, wait a minute, isn't anyone gonna defend us?
Leela: Yeah! I mean, _he_ may not have a case, but I'm genuinely not
a human.
Mayor: Quiet, human!
% On the Judge's screen, it appears a system error has occured. The
% bailif complains that "he froze up again!" and as he tries
repairing
% him, some people from the courtroom shout out their suggestions.
Mayor: Try Control-Alt-Delete.
Juror 1: Jiggle the cord.
Juror 2: Turn him off and on!
Juror 3: Clean the gook out of the mouse.
Fry: Call technical support!
Bailif: Okay, okay, he's back online.
Judge: I find the defendants guilty.
[room cheers]
Fry: No!
Leela: [points to her face] Look, _one_ eye! Count them. One!
Not human!
Judge: The humans are hearby senetnced to live as robots live on
Earth. They will perform tedious calculations and spot-weld
automobiles until they become obselete and are given away to
an inner-city middle school.
[room cheers again]
Mayor: [to Bender] Great work, Bender. You've taught us to hate
humans _all_ over again.
% Bender laughs nervously, and the bailif pulls a lever next to Fry's
% and Leela's cage. The floor opens up under them and they fall down
a
% tunnel in complete darkness until they hit bottom and a spotlight is
% turned on them. There are five very tall and thin robots, wearing
% cloaks, standing in a semi-circle around our heroes. (They will be
% referred to as Elders 1-5, from left to right.)
Leela: [gasps] Who are you?
Elder 3: We are the robot elders.
Fry: You don't look very old.
Elder 3: Thanks. We try to take care of ourselves.
% Leela tries to ask what's going on, but Elder 4 shouts "Silence!"
at
% her. He calls Bender into the room, and a door slides open in the
% surrounding darkness. Bender struts in.
Bender: Aah, let's make this quick. I'm due at the opening of a
mini-mall. [sees his friends] Hey, what is this?
Elder 3: Silence! It is time to put the humans to death.
Fry: But the Judge already sentenced us at the trial!
Elder 4: Silence! That was just a show for the public. We are the
true rulers of this planet, hand-carved from meteorites by
the robot founders over four centuries ago.
Elder 3: Silence. Come forward, Bender. You will have the honor of
executing the prisoners.
Elder 2: Silence! I concur.
Elder 4: Here, use the Ceremonial Killamajig.
% He hands Bender a small metal device shaped like a drumstick, and when
% Bender holds it, several compartments on the top open up and some
% miniature weapons such as maces and knives pop out.
Bender: Uh, I'm a little tired right now. Would it be alright if I
just gave them a savage beating?
Elder 3: No! The elders have spoken. Show us the killing skills that
have made you a media darling.
Elder 2: Do it now! Kill them before they bring down our whole
society.
% The elders all shout "Do it!" over and over and over as Bender
stands
% before his friends with the Killamajig in hand. He contemplates what
% to do, but finally moans sulkenly and slams the Killamajig onto the
% ground, breaking it.
Bender: I can't kill them. Plenty of humans have mistreated robots,
but not these two. They're my friends. Humans are no threat
to us. They're stupid, putrid cowards.
Fry: Damn right!
Bender: The fact is, humans are completely harmless.
Elder 3: We're well aware of that.
Bender: You are?
Elder 3: Of course. But they're useful to us as a scapegoat to
distract the public from their _real_ problems.
Elder 2: Like our crippling lugnut shortage.
Elder 4: And a corrupt government of incompetent robot elders.
Elder 5: D'uh, that's for sure.
Elder 3: Quiet, Jimmy.
Bender: Well, I'm glad we got all that out in the open. We'll just
let ourselves out ...
Elder 2: Silence! You all know too much.
Elder 3: Elders, execute Function-Control-Shift-Kill.
% The elders line up in single-file and each raise an arm towards their
% enemies. As they approach, Fry thinks quickly, jumps in front of
% them, still in handcuffs, and threatens that if the elders take one
% more step, he'll breathe fire on them. They all stand still for a
% moment, and the elders form a huddle.
Leela: He'll do it. He's crazy!
Elder 3: Can they really breathe fire, or did we make that up?
Elder 4: Gee, I can't remember anymore. It might just be from that
stupid movie.
Elder 2: Was that the original or the remake?
Elder 3: I don't ... hey, they're getting away!
% As the elders were distracting themselves, Bender was busy untying the
% humans' handcuffs, and by the time they realize what's happened, their
% prisoners are out the door. Cut to Fry, Bender and Leela fleeing the
% city and returning to the dank wilderness outside, with most of the
% city chasing after them. They all gather themselves onto the winch,
% right where they left it, and Leela presses a button that starts
% raising them into the air. Fry yells "So long, suckers!"
% But the robots aren't through yet. As soon as the crew starts to
% ascend, the line of robots begin piling onto each others' shoulders
% one after another after another after another ... The speed of the
% pile catches up with the speed of the winch, and when Fry sees the
% robot's head coming up fast from under them, he waves and says "Uh
...
% hello, suckers."
% And that's when Bender realizes that after all this time, he forgot
to
% deliver the package. So he reaches into his chest cavity, brings out
% the package, and shoves it into the arms of the topmost robot. The
% robot looses its balance, falls backwards, and the whole pile topples
% to the ground. Beneath them, it's raining robots, and after everyone
% is lying crippled on the ground, the package finally falls to the
% ground. It bursts open, and thousands of tiny metal screws explode
in
% all directions. The robots look up excitedly at the incoming shower.
Robot 1: Lugnuts! Precious lugnuts!
Robot 2: Hooray for the humans!
% The robots cheer, and the Planet Express ship is now leaving Chapek
9,
% on its way home. Bender sees the Robannukah decorations that are
% still all over the cockpit.
Bender: Wow, I can't believe you guys did all this for me! This is
the best Robannukah ever.
Fry: We wanted to show you that we really _do_ respect your robot
heritage.
Bender: Aw, thanks. [dryly] You do know that I made Robannukah up
to
get out of work, right?
Leela: Of course.
Fry: But that doesn't make it any less meaningful.
Bender: In that case, _let the dancing begin_!
% Bender turns on the stereo and some Jewish-type dancing music comes
% on. Bender watches the other two show off their new robot-dancing
% techniques.
Bender: Hey, you guys are good. How the hell do you do that?
% Now, against a dark background, we see some photographs piling on top
% of each other while the music plays. They depict the crew toasting
% some wine glasses to each other, presenting a cake to Bender, carrying
% Bender above their heads in a chair, Bender holding a broken bottle
to
% Fry's neck, and Bender standing drunkenly with his arms around his
% friends (Fry with two band-aids on his neck). This last photograph
% stays on-screen for a few more seconds as the credits start to appear.
% End of Act Four (8:08)
========================================================================
= Contributers =
{aa2} Andy Andy {jk} Joe Klemm
{ac2} Adrian Chmielarz {jr} Jeremy Reaban
{ah} Aaron Howald {kh} Kevin Hayes
{amc} Andrew McEwan Carty {mp} Mark Poyser
{bd} Brad Dugan {ms} Max Silvestri
{bm} Broke Man {ms2} Mark Spaeth
{bw} Bob Wells {pm} Paul Melnyk
{ddg} Don Del Grande {rs} Reagen Sulewski
{dga} Dale G. Abersold {sam} Steven Aaron Monroe
{dj} Daniel Janes {sv} Steve VanDevender
{ds} Dave Sweatt {sw} Sam Worf
{ds2} Dave Sarley {tm} Tyler McHenry
{hl} Haynes Lee {vy} Vince Yim
{jb} Jason Barrera
========================================================================
Futurama and its characters belong to ===== First uploaded: 23-May-1999
FOX. Please do not confuse them with ===== Revision D : 05-Dec-1999
fans of the show, such as the people ===== E-mail me: <jedraw@aol.com>
who contributed to this capsule. :-) =================================
Compiled by Robo Jordan Eisenberg. =================================
|