Terrain -- The Funny Papers
 January 1996 by Jym Dyer 

"We Read the Trib, So You Don't Have To."

Devilish Environmental Zealotry

In San Mateo County, there's a short section of Highway One along the Pacific Coast known as Devil's Slide, where the roadbed is slowly crumbling into the ocean. To get around this, CalTrans has plans for a freeway bypass over Montara Mountain, straight through the middle of McNee Ranch State Park. Others have proposed a tunnel through the mountain. The two alternatives have been under debate for 30 years.

Save Our Coasts (SOC), an environmental group with a record of ballot victories, has teamed up with the Citizens' Alliance for the Tunnel Solution (CATS), to launch an initiative campaign to put the matter on the ballot. The campaign launch was covered in newspapers up and down the peninsula.

The coverage in the San Francisco Chronicle and the San Francisco Examiner was a bit peculiar. Both newspapers seemed to structure their stories on the first few paragraphs of the SOC/CATS press release for the event, and both newspapers omitted any mention of CATS.

Representatives of SOC and CATS cowrote a letter to the Chron to correct this oversight, and it was printed December 1. Curiously, a disdsainful editorial in that issue portrayed the campaign as an attempt by "environmental zealots" to stop the bypass, pinning that label specifically on SOC -- and again making no mention of CATS.

Sharp Rise in Jellyfish Attacks

Cats have been getting more press than CATS, lately. In October, the state Assembly has put a measure on March's ballot to overturn 1990's Proposition 117, reinstating the hunting of mountain lions for sport, and divert habitat conservation funds to be used to "control" mountain lions.

Proponents of this new measure note an increase in mountain lion sightings and attacks since 1990 (there have been six attacks in that time, including two tragic and widely-reported fatalities), and pin the blame on Prop 117. It's true that Prop 117 has secured habitat for the lions in some locations, but suburban sprawl encroaching on that habitat is the primary reason humans and lions are crossing each others' paths.

Since October, the press has been abuzz with reports of mountain lion sightings, most of them unconfirmed. The usually docile Montclarion had a front page headline about a sighting in the Oakland hills.

A hunter alleged that he was attacked by not one, but two mountain lions (a potential 25% increase in such attacks), and that he shot himself in the foot while fighting them off. This dramatic event garnered widespread media attention, but then, metaphorically speaking, the hunter shot himself in the foot again as neither Fish & Wildlife officials nor medical personnel could find any evidence to support this claim.

Sometimes the journalists reporting an encounter with mountain lions will dutifully call up the Sierra Club for a bit of perspective, which is generally condensed into a sound bite somewhere near the end of the article: something to the effect that bee stings, lightning, dogs, and jellyfish pose more of a threat to people than mountain lions. It was refreshing to see this explored in more detail in an article on the front page of December 18's Chronicle, by staff writer Glen Martin.

Shower With A Developer

Lots of newspapers devoted coverage to what some pundits call a populist revolt by water users in the hotter areas of Contra Costa County. These "rebels" object to steep water rate increases imposed on households using more than 750 gallons daily by the East Bay Municipal Utility District (EBMUD), to encourage water conservation. According to a story in November 28's Chronicle by Erin Hallissy (one of the more informative articles on the issue), EBMUD's customers closer to the Bay -- where the climate is cooler and the lawns are smaller -- use an average of 250 gallons of water a day, costing $17.90 a month, while customers in the rebel-occupied area use an average of 739 gallons each day, costing $48.37 a month.

Rebel John Coleman (whose own water bills are three times this average), using a crafty populist strategy of happening to be the director of an EBMUD board packed by development interests, led that board in a vote overturning the rate structure not long after the rebellion was publicized by the local press. Coleman doesn't see why anybody should be concerned with water conservation, what with plans in the works to divert 150,000 acre-feet of water from the American River to fulfill the region's vital landscaping needs.

Some of the media coverage of this rebellion made mention of these "needs," but nobody thought to make mention of the possibility of landscaping with native and other drought-resistant plants. Nobody mentioned the American River plan, either (that's old news, you see). And while some papers did herald the news that it looks like we're in for another dry year, none of them seemed to consider this relevant to the rebellion story.

Some of the rebels, presumably caught up in all the revolutonary fervor, are now talking about seceding from the district. Perhaps the chinook salmon and others who dwell in the American River should consider doing the same.

Unmentionables

Another rebel victory took place in the overturning of the national 55 mph speed limit. The media regaled us with tales of all sorts of festivities (for example, Sammy Hagar, composer of the movement anthem, "I Can't Drive 55," was on hand to help public officials put up a new speed limit sign), and provided analyses from all angles but one: nobody seemed to remember that the law was originally enacted to conserve energy.

Not that it matters. Apparently the Highway Patrol is going to make sure people aren't going any faster than they're allowed to go already. The upshot seems to be that the new speed limit will ultimately have no impact on anything. Perhaps somebody should write a feature news story about that.

Finally, it would appear that the notion of saving the world through shopping has slipped everyone's minds. In a barrage of Holiday shopping articles, the only thing I could find along these lines were the San Francisco Bay Guardian's annual issue devoted to the subject, and a reminder by the California Department of Conservation recommending the purchase of goods with recycled content, printed in the 12/13 issue of the Oakland Post.

At this rate, the notion of shopping to save the planet will be about as popular as that other notion: saving the planet by not buying anything.


Updates

Scott Boyd, who maintains the Montara Mountain Free Press web page, responded to the Chronicle's "environmentalist zealots" editorial with a detailed, fact-filled letter. The Chron chose not to print it, selecting instead a letter expressing the same opinions as Boyd's, but without the details and facts to back them up.

Days after the January 1996 issue of Terrain hit the streets, the Examiner printed a story that credited both SOC and CATS for the Devil's Slide petition drive. And right after that, Examiner environmental writer Jane Kay turned in a story about the pollution and energy conservation impacts of the new higher speed limits. I'd be happy to take as much credit as I can get away with for this sudden dramatic improvement in media coverage.

The controversy over water rates continues unabated, yet as of June, despite a few dozen articles on the issue in the local papers, I have not seen even the slightest hint of any mention of the very notion of conserving water.

Why hasn't Sammy Hagar written a new song, with the title, "I Can Drive 65?"

All this babble about speed limits would seem to be something of a tradition in California. Before 1960, California had a statewide "flexible 55" top speed, which drivers could exceed if they could prove they were doing so safely. In 1960, this was replaced by an "absolute 65" that drivers could never exceed. That is, if you believe what the newspapers say.

And finally, giving credit where credit is due, the Noe Valley Review printed an article about environmental holiday shopping, on December 15th. A boon for the last-minute shopper, but past my deadline ...


Copyright 1996 by Jym Dyer. Originally published in Terrain, January 1996.